IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend Do you agree or disagree?

#week #workers #weekend
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Many people discuss about to make a longer weekend and transforming the working
week
Use synonyms
 for the employed citizens.
However
Linking Words
, I disagree with the statement because it can extremely change
workers
Change noun form
workers'
worker's
show examples
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 and the economy in a negative way. In terms of precipitation, if the working
week
Use synonyms
 becomes shorter ,it will cause to decline in salary, and in consequence, people will have smaller salaries and a decrease in quality of life.
For instance
Linking Words
, many economic studies have shown that the companies which tried the
short
Add a hyphen
short-week
show examples
week
Use synonyms
 system demonstrated a reduction in
work
Correct article usage
the work
show examples
 ethic and happiness of workers,
also
Linking Words
, productivity went down for the reason that with a small
salary
Add a comma
salary,
show examples
 they
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
lost motivation.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, it will be a problem for the economy.
The economic
Correct article usage
Economic
show examples
 growth is linked with spending and money that go around folk,
however
Linking Words
, it will go down, if spending,which is reliable with salary ,
start
Correct subject-verb agreement
starts
show examples
 to become lower, and
for
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
reason
Add a comma
reason,
show examples
 it reduces GDP.
For example
Linking Words
, in
Gonduras
Correct your spelling
Honduras
, the experience in the southern region was to analyse the economic changes by reducing working hours,
as a
Linking Words
result
Add the comma(s)
result,
show examples
 half of the citizens were unhappy with
reforms
Correct article usage
the reforms
show examples
 and asked to bring back old rules. In conclusion, the short working
week
Use synonyms
 isn't a good practice for the companies and people.
Submitted by dimash.shaitmahmet on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
While the essay addresses the topic and provides a clear stance, it would benefit from more detailed arguments and elaboration to achieve higher clarity and depth.
coherence cohesion
The organization is logical, but some transitions between points could be smoother. Adding connectors and improving paragraph cohesion will enhance readability.
task achievement
The essay provides relevant examples to support the main points, which strengthens the arguments presented.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This helps in maintaining a logical flow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • productivity
  • burnout
  • motivation
  • mental well-being
  • work-life balance
  • job satisfaction
  • pollution levels
  • traffic congestion
  • consumer spending
  • economic implications
  • leisure and service sectors
What to do next:
Look at other essays: