Some people think the advertisement has positive economic effects, while others think it has social impacts because individuals are not satisfied with who they are and what they have. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

There are many reasons
on
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apply
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why a lot of people think that public advertisement has different kinds of influence,
such
as the
effect
they have on the
economy
, and the social
impacts
they
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it
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create
Correct subject-verb agreement
creates
show examples
due to
the lack of individuals always needing more and rarely
have
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
the feeling of being satisfied. Even though the social
impacts
they
give
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have
show examples
are present, I strongly believe that
advertisements
has
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have
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more positive effects on the
economy
compared to the latter. The positive effects that the
economy
receives from
advertisements
are very evident, as it immensely helps the sales of certain
products
that
depends
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depend
show examples
on them.
In
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At
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first glance, even if the
products
are visibly mediocre or low quality,
advertisements
can help them thrive in the market, taking great
effect
and making the said
products
greatly more appealing, resulting in a large shift in the
economy
, helping the company that produces the advertised
products
.
On the other hand
, the social
impacts
of advertisement are surely present, but it does not
make
Verb problem
have
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as big of an
effect
compared to the
economy
, since
advertisements
cannot appeal to every single person each with different needs. The impact
to
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on
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society that
advertisements
produce can be immense, taking the example of McDonald's Japanese
anime centered
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anime-centered
show examples
ads, as it created a big opportunity for other companies to use the same tactic and appeal more to those kinds of people. In conclusion,
although
the social
impacts
that
advertisements
present are evidently there, it does not make as much impact or
effect
compared to what they serve to the
economy
, as the
effect
is greater and more impactful
overall
because of the power to shift the industry of wherever their product is categorized at.
Submitted by millionmiles.indonesia on

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coherence cohesion
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Be mindful of minor grammatical errors and awkward phrases. Although they don't drastically affect your score, refining your language can make your essay more polished.
task achievement
Your essay addresses both views of the argument effectively, providing a balanced discussion.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and contribute to a coherent structure.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is clear, making it easy to follow your line of reasoning.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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