Task 2. Some people believe that teenagers should concentrate on all school subjects equally. Others believe that teenagers should focus on the subjects that they are best at or that they find the most interesting.

Adults are often encouraged to focus on all academic material. Some argue that students should concentrate
the
Change preposition
on the
show examples
subject that they looking for
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
passion rather
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
focusing on
what
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
subjects
. In my opinion, both categories of
subjects
are equally important for
teenagers
Change noun form
teenagers'
teenager's
show examples
development. It is
importance
Replace the word
important
show examples
to study and learn all
subjects
.
Education
is not just a piece of paper _ the piece of paper is the representation of
skills
Correct article usage
the skills
show examples
and quality of a person.
Education
improves quality of life people who are better educated have a better life.
This
is not because they tend to have more material things , but because they have a greater level of understanding and
therefore
they have a broader vision and a better ability to
related
Wrong verb form
relate
show examples
to achievement, which is closely related to
education
, not material possessions. Despite learning
is
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
important I think
follow
Wrong verb form
following
show examples
your passion and ambition is most significant. Many of the world's greatest thinkers and leaders did not have very good educational backgrounds, but all are highly educated because they learned in other ways .
On the other hand
, students often think that getting
education
Add an article
an education
show examples
is the process of
going
Verb problem
gaining
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knowledge
.
Knowledge
is the lowest form of learning and is not
focus
Add an article
the focus
show examples
of
western
Capitalize word
Western
show examples
education
.
Education
is the process of learning to solve problems. Many educated people work in fields they know how to solve problems, including the problem of lack of
knowledge
. In conclusion, despite all
subjects
are
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
essential to
learn
Change the verb form
learning
show examples
also
teenagers should follow their passions.
This
is not because prefer to have more material things but they tend to have more understanding and
knowledge
.
Submitted by a.almakmari93 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay would benefit from clearer and more structured paragraphs. Ensure each paragraph conveys a single main idea and is logically connected to the next.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure your introduction starts broad and narrows down to your specific viewpoint. Similarly, your conclusion should recap the main points succinctly.
Task Achievement
Support your points with specific and relevant examples. This will strengthen your arguments and make your essay more compelling.
Task Achievement
Strive to clarify your main ideas effectively. Sometimes, the main points were a bit unclear or not fully developed.
Coherence and Cohesion
You have provided a clear stance in your introduction and elaborated on it in the following paragraphs.
Task Achievement
The essay engages with both sides of the argument, which shows a balanced discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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