Task 2. Some people believe that teenagers should concentrate on all school subjects equally. Others believe that teenagers should focus on the subjects that they are best at or that they find the most interesting.
Adults are often encouraged to focus on all academic material. Some argue that students should concentrate
the
subject that they looking for Change preposition
on the
there
passion rather Correct your spelling
their
then
focusing on Replace the word
than
what
Correct pronoun usage
apply
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
subjects
. In my opinion, both categories of subjects
are equally important for teenagers
development.
It is Change noun form
teenagers'
teenager's
importance
to study and learn all Replace the word
important
subjects
. Education
is not just a piece of paper _ the piece of paper is the representation of skills
and quality of a person. Correct article usage
the skills
Education
improves quality of life people who are better educated have a better life. This
is not because they tend to have more material things , but because they have a greater level of understanding and therefore
they have a broader vision and a better ability to related
to achievement, which is closely related to Wrong verb form
relate
education
, not material possessions. Despite learning is
important I think Wrong verb form
being
follow
your passion and ambition is most significant. Many of the world's greatest thinkers and leaders did not have very good educational backgrounds, but all are highly educated because they learned in other ways .
Wrong verb form
following
On the other hand
, students often think that getting education
is the process of Add an article
an education
going
Verb problem
gaining
knowledge
. Knowledge
is the lowest form of learning and is not focus
of Add an article
the focus
western
Capitalize word
Western
education
. Education
is the process of learning to solve problems. Many educated people work in fields they know how to solve problems, including the problem of lack of knowledge
.
In conclusion, despite all subjects
are
essential to Wrong verb form
being
learn
Change the verb form
learning
also
teenagers should follow their passions. This
is not because prefer to have more material things but they tend to have more understanding and knowledge
.Submitted by a.almakmari93 on
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Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay would benefit from clearer and more structured paragraphs. Ensure each paragraph conveys a single main idea and is logically connected to the next.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure your introduction starts broad and narrows down to your specific viewpoint. Similarly, your conclusion should recap the main points succinctly.
Task Achievement
Support your points with specific and relevant examples. This will strengthen your arguments and make your essay more compelling.
Task Achievement
Strive to clarify your main ideas effectively. Sometimes, the main points were a bit unclear or not fully developed.
Coherence and Cohesion
You have provided a clear stance in your introduction and elaborated on it in the following paragraphs.
Task Achievement
The essay engages with both sides of the argument, which shows a balanced discussion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.