Nowadays the way people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In whats has technology affected the types of relationships people make ? Has this become a positive or negative development ?

The recent developments in technology
ecspecially
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especially
arising
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rising
show examples
social media platforms after
expand
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expanding
show examples
useing
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use
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
Internet have changed
interaction
Correct article usage
the interaction
show examples
behaviours of
people
across the globe
significancily
Correct your spelling
significantly
. Some of these changes are positive like video calls, others are negative particularly, bullying
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
social media platforms.
This
essay demonstrates
firstly
some crucial aspects of relationships
is
Verb problem
that have
show examples
already changed by technology
follow
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followed
show examples
by an analysis of
negative
Correct article usage
the negative
show examples
and positive sides of these developments.
To begin
with, the new opportunities
tecnology
Correct your spelling
technology
offer
Correct subject-verb agreement
offers
show examples
individuals have
affected
Add a missing verb
been affected
show examples
rapidly and
people
's attitudes have adapted
new
Change preposition
to new
show examples
conditions.
In other words
, new technologies help
people
to meet new
people
and maintain their present relationships.
For example
, there are costless
groupes
Correct your spelling
groups
and pages
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
social media platforms
mitigate
Verb problem
apply
show examples
to find new
people
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
have the same thoughts about art, music,
relagions
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religions
religion
relations
and so on.
This
aspect is vital for
introvert
Wrong verb form
introverted
show examples
and physically
disable
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disabled
show examples
individuals
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
they cannot socialise easily or
attain to
Verb problem
attend
show examples
events. Meanwhile, by video calling
people
can continue
thier
Correct your spelling
their
long distance
Add a hyphen
long-distance
show examples
relationships more easily. If it is concerned
aobut
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about
modern
Correct article usage
the modern
show examples
labour market's demands
such
as trip several times in year
other
Change preposition
to other
show examples
counties
Correct your spelling
countries
show examples
,
this
affect
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effect
show examples
become
Wrong verb form
becomes
show examples
more
value
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valuable
show examples
. Regarding
consequences
Correct article usage
the consequences
show examples
of these
changes
Add a comma
changes,
show examples
there are positive sides,
as well as
, negatives.
First,
the main positive aspect
were
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was
show examples
Correct article usage
the experienced
show examples
experienced
Replace the word
experience
show examples
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
world population during
COVID-19
Correct article usage
the COVID-19
show examples
Pandemy
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pandemic
. By doing video calls or online
meeting
Fix the agreement mistake
meetings
show examples
people
can work and
carantine
Correct your spelling
quarantine
carnitine
did not damage the world economy in
gigant
Correct your spelling
gigantic
numbers.
On the other hand
, some
people
use these opportunities negatively. For
instanse
Correct your spelling
instance
,
according to
the investigation by Cambridge University in 2022, there is
24.6
Correct article usage
a 24.6
show examples
% increase in
phychological
Correct your spelling
psychological
problems
such
as depression and anxiety by means of online
bulliying
Correct your spelling
bullying
. In conclusion, new technologies' influences have changed
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
attitudes in interaction and these changes led to both positive and
negavite
Correct your spelling
negative
consequences.
Submitted by i.nureddinn on

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task achievement
Your essay aptly addresses the task and the nuances of how technology impacts relationships both positively and negatively. However, there are instances where clarity could be improved. For instance, revising to ensure proper grammar and word choice will strengthen the essay budget.
coherence cohesion
While the essay has a logical structure, some transitions between points are abrupt or unclear. Ensure that you use cohesive devices more effectively to guide the reader smoothly from one point to the next.
task achievement
An example from a reputable study adds credibility to the negative aspects of technological impact on relationships. Consider expanding on personal observations or real-life examples for a more comprehensive response.
coherence cohesion
Including an introduction and conclusion is a positive point. To improve further, ensure the introduction succinctly states the main points that will be discussed, and the conclusion summarizes these effectively. This could add to the overall coherence.
task achievement
You have provided relevant examples such as the mention of video calls and online groups. This strengthens your main arguments and showcases a good understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Your essay includes an effective introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your discussion well. This is a good practice to continue in your writing.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Global connectivity
  • Cross-cultural friendships
  • Online communities
  • Geographical barriers
  • Video calls
  • Messaging apps
  • Superficial interactions
  • Digital communication
  • Professional networking
  • LinkedIn
  • Privacy concerns
  • Data security
  • Romantic relationships
  • Online dating apps
  • Face-to-face interaction
  • Mental health
  • Online presence
  • Generational gap
  • Educational collaboration
  • Academic relationships
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