Nowadays the way people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In whats has technology affected the types of relationships people make ? Has this become a positive or negative development ?
The recent developments in technology
ecspecially
Correct your spelling
especially
arising
social media platforms after Correct your spelling
rising
expand
Change the verb form
expanding
useing
Correct your spelling
use
the
Internet have changed Change preposition
of the
interaction
behaviours of Correct article usage
the interaction
people
across the globe significancily
. Some of these changes are positive like video calls, others are negative particularly, bullying Correct your spelling
significantly
in
social media platforms. Change preposition
on
This
essay demonstrates firstly
some crucial aspects of relationships is
already changed by technology Verb problem
that have
follow
by an analysis of Change the form of the verb
followed
negative
and positive sides of these developments.
Correct article usage
the negative
To begin
with, the new opportunities tecnology
Correct your spelling
technology
offer
individuals have Correct subject-verb agreement
offers
affected
rapidly and Add a missing verb
been affected
people
's attitudes have adapted new
conditions. Change preposition
to new
In other words
, new technologies help people
to meet new people
and maintain their present relationships. For example
, there are costless groupes
and pages Correct your spelling
groups
in
social media platforms Change preposition
on
mitigate
to find new Verb problem
apply
people
which
have the same thoughts about art, music, Correct pronoun usage
who
relagions
and so on. Correct your spelling
religions
religion
relations
This
aspect is vital for introvert
and physically Wrong verb form
introverted
disable
individuals Change the form of the verb
disabled
that
they cannot socialise easily or Correct pronoun usage
apply
attain to
events. Meanwhile, by video calling Verb problem
attend
people
can continue thier
Correct your spelling
their
long distance
relationships more easily. If it is concerned Add a hyphen
long-distance
aobut
Correct your spelling
about
modern
labour market's demands Correct article usage
the modern
such
as trip several times in year other
Change preposition
to other
counties
, Correct your spelling
countries
this
affect
Correct your spelling
effect
become
more Wrong verb form
becomes
value
.
Regarding Replace the word
valuable
consequences
of these Correct article usage
the consequences
changes
there are positive sides, Add a comma
changes,
as well as
, negatives. First,
the main positive aspect were
Change the verb form
was
Correct article usage
the experienced
experienced
Replace the word
experience
the
world population during Change preposition
of the
COVID-19
Correct article usage
the COVID-19
Pandemy
. By doing video calls or online Correct your spelling
pandemic
meeting
Fix the agreement mistake
meetings
people
can work and carantine
did not damage the world economy in Correct your spelling
quarantine
carnitine
gigant
numbers. Correct your spelling
gigantic
On the other hand
, some people
use these opportunities negatively. For instanse
, Correct your spelling
instance
according to
the investigation by Cambridge University in 2022, there is 24.6
% increase in Correct article usage
a 24.6
phychological
problems Correct your spelling
psychological
such
as depression and anxiety by means of online bulliying
.
In conclusion, new technologies' influences have changed Correct your spelling
bullying
people
attitudes in interaction and these changes led to both positive and Change noun form
people's
negavite
consequences.Correct your spelling
negative
Submitted by i.nureddinn on
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task achievement
Your essay aptly addresses the task and the nuances of how technology impacts relationships both positively and negatively. However, there are instances where clarity could be improved. For instance, revising to ensure proper grammar and word choice will strengthen the essay budget.
coherence cohesion
While the essay has a logical structure, some transitions between points are abrupt or unclear. Ensure that you use cohesive devices more effectively to guide the reader smoothly from one point to the next.
task achievement
An example from a reputable study adds credibility to the negative aspects of technological impact on relationships. Consider expanding on personal observations or real-life examples for a more comprehensive response.
coherence cohesion
Including an introduction and conclusion is a positive point. To improve further, ensure the introduction succinctly states the main points that will be discussed, and the conclusion summarizes these effectively. This could add to the overall coherence.
task achievement
You have provided relevant examples such as the mention of video calls and online groups. This strengthens your main arguments and showcases a good understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Your essay includes an effective introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your discussion well. This is a good practice to continue in your writing.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic
Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.
You essay structure should look something like this:
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – Problems
- Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- One of the first problems of the...
- Another problem that needs to be considered...
- A possible solution to this problem would be...
- One immediate practical solution is to...
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