People now spend more and more time at home than in the past. What are the reasons for this development and what its effects on people and society.

Spending more
time
in their
home
is not a rare matter nowadays; compared to the past, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
would prefer to stay at
home
currently. For
this
phenomena
Fix the agreement mistake
phenomenon
show examples
, it could be
conculded
Correct your spelling
concluded
as
serveal
Correct your spelling
several
reasons and
also
come with some of the
effects
.
Firstly
,
advance
Replace the word
advanced
show examples
technology altered the traditional social pattern,
then
it
cultivate
Wrong verb form
cultivated
show examples
people
to have a "new" social life compared
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
the past. The
inprovement
Correct your spelling
improvement
of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology,
for example
, the Internet, cell phones and other electronic devices and so on, which
broght
Correct your spelling
brought
huge convenience to
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
.
In other words
,
people
could communicate through their
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
, and
ingored
Correct your spelling
ignored
the
limitation
Fix the agreement mistake
limitations
show examples
of geography and
time
. Every
messages
Fix the agreement mistake
message
show examples
or
emails
Fix the agreement mistake
email
show examples
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
sent is instant and
effeicency
Correct your spelling
efficient
.
Moreover
,
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the advancement of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
electronic devices,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
allowed
people
could have many
entertainments
Fix the agreement mistake
entertainment
show examples
at
home
.
Hence
,
people
would not need to hang out with
thier
Correct your spelling
their
friends because they could fulfill their social needs
by
Change preposition
via
show examples
the Internet.
Secondly
, COVID-19 shaped
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
life
pattern
Fix the agreement mistake
patterns
show examples
and working mode to more stay at
home
.
Due to
the outbreak of the pandemic,
poeple
Correct your spelling
people
were asked to stay at
home
for a long
time
. During the restriction,
people
were not allowed to work outside and go
ourside
Correct your spelling
outside
. Some of the companies
also
set new rules to let their staff members
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
handle the
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
from
home
then
. After the results, nowadays, some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
companies already
adapted
Correct your spelling
adopted
show examples
the new working mode which is
work
Wrong verb form
working
show examples
from
home
. And they did not need to work outside, so that should be one of the reasons considered that why
people
spend more
time
at
home
than in the past.
However
,
this
situation
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
bring some negative
effects
to
people
and society. For
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
personl
Correct your spelling
personal
effects
,
people
now prefer to stay at
home
which might
be led
Wrong verb form
lead
show examples
to
unhealthy
Add an article
an unhealthy
show examples
lifestyle
. Since
people
are
adapting
Correct your spelling
adopting
show examples
the
lifestyle
of staying at
home
, it might be
estbalished
Correct your spelling
established
some bad
habbits
Correct your spelling
habits
for them.
For example
,
sandetary
Replace the word
a sedentary
show examples
lifestyle
should be considered as one of the negative
effects
of staying at
home
. They
intends
Change the verb form
intend
show examples
to not
going
Wrong verb form
go
show examples
outside
for doing
Change preposition
to do
show examples
some sports or
strecthing
Correct your spelling
stretch
their body.
Thus
, it enhances
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
possibility of obesity,
lack
Correct word choice
and lack
show examples
of
Vitamine
Correct your spelling
vitamin
show examples
D.
Consequently
, they are
unconsiously
Correct your spelling
unconsciously
consciously
cultivating a
lifestyle
which might ruin their health because of spending too much
time
at
home
.
For
Change preposition
From
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
social
perspectives
Fix the agreement mistake
perspective
show examples
,
people
are shaping a new social interaction
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
new
Add an article
a new
the new
show examples
generation, which might
led
Change the verb form
lead
show examples
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
new
generation
Change noun form
generation's
show examples
lack of social skills. Nowadays
people
are more willing to
doing
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
eveything
Correct your spelling
everything
at
home
, like social interaction, working or shopping.
However
,
this
way might be easier to shape their children
rely
Fix the infinitive
to rely
show examples
on the Internet, and
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
not know how to communicate with others in reality. Since
eveything
Correct your spelling
everything
could be done at
home
or online, those children might not be able to come out
with
Change preposition
of
show examples
their comfort zone, and it causes some issues for their growth.
For instance
, the
childre
Correct your spelling
children
are not able to talk to strangers. As a
results
Correct the article-noun agreement
result
show examples
,
this
phenomena
Fix the agreement mistake
phenomenon
show examples
can cultivate the new generation with negative social skills. In
conculsion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
,
people
are more willing to spend
time
at
home
due to
the
convience
Correct your spelling
convenience
of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology and the restrictions since COVID-19's outbreak than in the past.
However
, it does bring some influences which should be reflected and
pay
Wrong verb form
paid
show examples
attention to tackle them.
Submitted by asllchkied on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

grammar
Work on reducing grammatical errors and improving sentence structure for better readability.
content
Try to provide more specific examples to support your points, especially when discussing the effects on individuals and society.
cohesion
Consider using more linking words and phrases to improve the flow of the essay and make it more cohesive.
content
The introduction clearly states the topic and provides a brief insight into what the essay will discuss.
organization
The main points are well-structured, and arguments are logical and easy to follow.
content
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points discussed in the essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Technological advancements
  • Remote work
  • Streaming services
  • Smart home devices
  • Safety and security
  • Pandemics
  • Family bonding
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Home-cooked meals
  • E-commerce
  • Home delivery services
  • Foot traffic
  • Extended community
  • Health issues
What to do next:
Look at other essays: