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Writing Samples
Band 7

The first chart below shows the results of a survey which sampled a cross-section of 100,000 people asking if they traveled abroad and why they traveled for the period 1994-98. The second chart shows their destinations over the same period. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.

The first chart below shows the results of a survey which sampled a cross-section of 100,000 people asking if they traveled abroad and why they traveled for the period 1994-98. The second chart shows their destinations over the same period. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.
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The figures presented below illustrate foreign travels made by UK residents with respect to
destination
Use synonyms
 and visit purpose from 1994 until 1998. Based on the data provided, in the given time span, travelling for pleasure has increased
whereas
Linking Words
 the visits attributed to business reasons and family gatherings have remained the same. Contrary to popular belief the graph shows an increase in travel, regardless of
destination
Use synonyms
, since 1994.
However
Linking Words
, it is worth noting that in recent years, there has been an increase in the popularity of areas, other than Europe and America, among travellers.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that the given information,
while
Linking Words
 educating, lacks insight into specific
destination
Use synonyms
 points. Especially in regard to “other areas”. When it comes to travel destinations, factors
such
Linking Words
 as
destination
Use synonyms
 safety and regional developments could affect the yearly data and should be considered for more accurate results.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words destination with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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