It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at early age .punishment is necessary o help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? what short of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children ?give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own lnowledge and experiences.

there is no denying the fact that it's important kids learn the difference between correct and wrong from
beginning
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the beginning
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,
while
is
commonly
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a commonly
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held belief that
punishment
is
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plays
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significant
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a significant
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role
to grow
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in growing
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up
them
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apply
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correctly, there
also
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is also
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an argument that opposes it .In my
opinion
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opinion,
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I will consider
the
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apply
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punishment
is
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as
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one of
a
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the
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methods used to guide
a
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apply
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children to
correct
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the correct
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way in
the
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apply
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life .
To begin
with,
for
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apply
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every action is
there
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their
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reaction,
in
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and in
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turn, when
child
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a child
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make
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makes
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wrong
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a wrong
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should be punished,
In other
words
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words,
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he should
now
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know
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the responsibility
of
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for
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his behaviour and correct
this
mistake maybe avoid disaster in Future,
for instance
, I punish my son by restrict
him
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his
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access to internet and tablet on
daily
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a daily
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base ,as result I push him out to play with others children that will increase his society and reduce his aloneness ,As
report
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a report
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released from Pew Research Center in USA finding that phone and tablet screen contribute in the ADHD issue for children around 80% . Another
point
to consider,
reduce
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reducing
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the
purchasing
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purchase of
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sweets products for
child
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children
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is
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an affective
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effective
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affective
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effective
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way to
Verb problem
apply
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make
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take
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control and let
him
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them
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know wrong and right, it is possible to say that we hit two
point
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points
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by
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with
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this
punishment
firstly
we minimize the consumption of sweets which has bad effect for there body and not healthy ,
secondly
it is considered as
punishment
for them
finally
punish In conclusion, despite people has different views, I tend to say I am absolutely with short
punishment
and should don not forget reward them from other hands so let them always between the good
point
and bad
point
and let them collect more good
point
Submitted by rami_agha77 on

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task response
The essay shows a clear attempt to address the topic and provide a response. However, there are several language inaccuracies and some points are unclear due to awkward phrasing. Make sure you proofread your essay to correct these errors.
coherence and cohesion
Use a clear and consistent structure by organizing your essay into clear paragraphs with one main idea each. This will help improve the flow of your essay and make it easier for the reader to follow your arguments.
task response
Provide more specific examples to support your main points. This will help make your arguments more convincing and demonstrate your understanding of the topic.
task response
The essay shows an understanding of the question and attempts to respond to all parts of it. This is a good starting point.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame the argument.
task response
Some relevant examples are provided to support the main points, which adds depth to the argument.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

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A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • moral development
  • disciplinary methods
  • corporal punishment
  • time-outs
  • loss of privileges
  • empathy
  • social responsibility
  • reinforce boundaries
  • alternatives to punishment
  • supportive approach
  • understanding approach
  • behavioral issues
  • positive reinforcement
  • consequences
  • modeling behavior
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