7.Some people think visual images (like photographs and videos) can tell information more accurately in a newsstory, while others think they cannot represent the full story. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Write an essay with no less than 250 words.

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These days electronic media is an integral part of our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
, a few people start their day with the news headlines on TV.
However
, some of us believe that images or videos shown during news readings convey information accurately,
whereas
, others think the visuals do not tell the event in depth. In my opinion, the former view is more acceptable and reasons to support my stance are elaborated in the following paragraphs.
Submitted by mrsdns on

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task achievement
Ensure the essay includes distinct arguments for both perspectives. Currently, the essay appears to focus more on the opinion of the author without sufficiently discussing both views in detail.
task achievement
Make sure to provide specific examples that highlight the strengths and weaknesses of visual images in news stories as well as the reasons why some people believe visuals cannot represent the full story.
coherence cohesion
Create a clearer structure by using paragraphs effectively. Each paragraph should ideally cover a separate point or viewpoint, and there should be a clear demarcation between the introduction, main body, and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Develop the introduction further and ensure that a conclusion is provided to sum up the essay. Right now, the introduction does not completely set up the essay, and there's no conclusion to tie the arguments together.
coherence cohesion
The introductory paragraph sets the context clearly, highlighting how integral electronic media is to our lives. This provides a good starting point for the essay.
task achievement
The language used is clear and the writer's opinion is stated explicitly, which makes it easy for the reader to understand the stance taken.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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