It is better for the students to live away from the home during their university studies rather than staying with their parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Most
students
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continue studying in
universities
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after their graduation from high
schools
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school
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. Each student needs to choose a place to study. Some of them prefer to live away from their hometowns,
while
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others do not. In my opinion, choosing
far
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apply
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universities
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is more beneficial to them as they may gain survival
skills
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.
Moreover
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, developing better
time
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management
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is
also
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possible as
parents
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cannot control them. Survival
skills
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may not develop themselves, except when supported by conditions. Mindsets play an important role in these
skills
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, by default people have reliance mindsets. Starting
live
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to live
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as a baby is the reason, because a baby cannot do anything
due to
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the
strenght
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strength
. But,
strenght
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strength
and wisdom are developed
along with
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time
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, making babies into
child
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children
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,
then
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become
students
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. As long as
students
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still get anything from their
parents
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, their reliance mindsets will not change.
Therefore
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, choosing faraway
universities
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can be
Correct article usage
a solutions
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solutions
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solution
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to the problems.
Although
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, money is still provided by the
parents
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, as long the
students
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have freedom to use it, it does not matter.
For example
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, they can arrange
budget
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a budget
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for a month,
understanding
Wrong verb form
understand
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their necessities, and many more.
Thus
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, living
faraway
Correct your spelling
far away
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may develop survival
skills
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.
On the other hand
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,
time
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management
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skills
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are
also
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important to be developed, as each person has limited
time
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in
live
Replace the word
life
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. When at home,
students
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are often controlled by their
parents
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, making them
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
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not understand how to manage their own
time
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. By living in a different place with
parents
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, improving
time
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management
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skills
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becomes easier.
For instance
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, creating a schedule and balancing organization with academic
time
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. In conclusion, choosing a long distance
universites
Correct your spelling
university
may
increases
Change the verb form
increase
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the chance to develop crucial
skills
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such
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as survival and
time
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management
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.
Therefore
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, I encourage
students
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to choose faraway
universities
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.
Submitted by ivannizar on

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task achievement
To strengthen your task achievement, include more relevant and specific examples to support your points. For instance, you could discuss particular skills or experiences that students gain by living away from home.
coherence cohesion
Ensure all your points are logically structured. Sometimes your argument can feel repetitive or unclear. Aim for clear, distinct main points.
coherence cohesion
Your essay clearly introduces the topic and provides a conclusion which reinforces your opinion. This shows strong coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
You manage to touch upon multiple aspects of the benefits of living away from home, such as survival skills and time management, which demonstrates a thorough task response.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • independence
  • self-reliance
  • time management
  • organizational skills
  • diverse social environments
  • broader network
  • professional contacts
  • accommodation
  • financial burden
  • emotional support
  • psychological support
  • stress
  • anxiety
  • academic pressures
  • familial support system
  • distraction
  • focused study environment
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