It is better for the students to live away from the home during their university studies rather than staying with their parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Most
students
continue studying in
universities
after their graduation from high
schools
Fix the agreement mistake
school
show examples
. Each student needs to choose a place to study. Some of them prefer to live away from their hometowns,
while
others do not. In my opinion, choosing
far
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
universities
is more beneficial to them as they may gain survival
skills
.
Moreover
, developing better
time
management
is
also
possible as
parents
cannot control them. Survival
skills
may not develop themselves, except when supported by conditions. Mindsets play an important role in these
skills
, by default people have reliance mindsets. Starting
live
Fix the infinitive
to live
show examples
as a baby is the reason, because a baby cannot do anything
due to
the
strenght
Correct your spelling
strength
. But,
strenght
Correct your spelling
strength
and wisdom are developed
along with
time
, making babies into
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
,
then
become
students
. As long as
students
still get anything from their
parents
, their reliance mindsets will not change.
Therefore
, choosing faraway
universities
can be
Correct article usage
a solutions
show examples
solutions
Fix the agreement mistake
solution
show examples
to the problems.
Although
, money is still provided by the
parents
, as long the
students
have freedom to use it, it does not matter.
For example
, they can arrange
budget
Correct article usage
a budget
show examples
for a month,
understanding
Wrong verb form
understand
show examples
their necessities, and many more.
Thus
, living
faraway
Correct your spelling
far away
show examples
may develop survival
skills
.
On the other hand
,
time
management
skills
are
also
important to be developed, as each person has limited
time
in
live
Replace the word
life
show examples
. When at home,
students
are often controlled by their
parents
, making them
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
not understand how to manage their own
time
. By living in a different place with
parents
, improving
time
management
skills
becomes easier.
For instance
, creating a schedule and balancing organization with academic
time
. In conclusion, choosing a long distance
universites
Correct your spelling
university
may
increases
Change the verb form
increase
show examples
the chance to develop crucial
skills
such
as survival and
time
management
.
Therefore
, I encourage
students
to choose faraway
universities
.
Submitted by ivannizar on

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task achievement
To strengthen your task achievement, include more relevant and specific examples to support your points. For instance, you could discuss particular skills or experiences that students gain by living away from home.
coherence cohesion
Ensure all your points are logically structured. Sometimes your argument can feel repetitive or unclear. Aim for clear, distinct main points.
coherence cohesion
Your essay clearly introduces the topic and provides a conclusion which reinforces your opinion. This shows strong coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
You manage to touch upon multiple aspects of the benefits of living away from home, such as survival skills and time management, which demonstrates a thorough task response.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • independence
  • self-reliance
  • time management
  • organizational skills
  • diverse social environments
  • broader network
  • professional contacts
  • accommodation
  • financial burden
  • emotional support
  • psychological support
  • stress
  • anxiety
  • academic pressures
  • familial support system
  • distraction
  • focused study environment
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