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Writing Samples
Band 5

The diagram below shows the floor plan of a public library 20 years ago and how it looks now. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below shows the floor plan of a public library 20 years ago and how it looks now. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The two-floor plan of the public library illustrates how much it has changed over the
last
Linking Words
 two decades. There have been several developments in the layout over these years, and rearrangements have been made compared to the first diagram. The most notable change is, that 20 years ago the library had a
section
Use synonyms
 for CDs, videos, and computer games
at
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the northwest side of the institution, next to the
adult
Use synonyms
fiction
Use synonyms
books
Use synonyms
, but it can be clearly seen that the electronic
section
Use synonyms
 has been converted into a hangout spot that contains two pieces of sofas facing each other at the opposite side of the room. The area
also
Linking Words
 has a selection of children's
fiction
Use synonyms
books
Use synonyms
, that originally
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
at
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the northeast side of the building.
While
Linking Words
 the entrance remained the same , we cannot say the same thing for the enquiry desk, as the second diagram shows, it has been replaced by a Café. In front of the
Café
Add a comma
Café,
show examples
 it is seen to have three self-service machines, an information desk and a
section
Use synonyms
 for
adult
Use synonyms
fiction
Use synonyms
books
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.
Instead
Linking Words
 of separating the
Adult
Use synonyms
fiction
Use synonyms
books
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 and
Adult
Use synonyms
 non-
fiction
Use synonyms
books
Use synonyms
 as they used to, today they have replaced the
adult
Use synonyms
fiction
Use synonyms
section
Use synonyms
 with all reference
books
Use synonyms
. It is obvious there have been quite a few changes after 20 years,
that
Correct word choice
which
show examples
 the diagram
also
Linking Words
 shows.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words section, adult, fiction, books with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "diagram" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "changed" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • floor plan
  • public library
  • layout
  • reading area
  • computer station
  • multimedia section
  • children's area
  • reference section
  • study cubicles
  • shelving units
  • digital media
  • technological advancements
  • user behavior
  • accessibility
  • traffic flow
  • modernization
  • community needs
  • conversion
  • allocation
  • removal
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