There is a lot of pressure on young people today to succeed academically. As a result, some people believe that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays,
the
young individuals are stressed about their academic success. Because of Correct article usage
apply
this
, some individuals think that traditional subjects
such
as English, Mathematics, and Science should be prioritized regardless of other subjects
such
as physical education and cooking, and these should be removed from the school
syllabus to focus only on academic work. I disagree with this
statement, and I would like to shed some light on my point of view.
To begin
with, academic education has the most indulgent impact on child education during school
life
and beyond. However
, only conducting the area of study will not be helpful to build up an individual mindset to perform a good amount of practical work in society due to
the fact that performing mitigated sessions in the area of physical or practical subjects
in the school
. Furthermore
, these practical subjects
have been proved in
various researchers in past decades, Change preposition
by
as well as
that this
will reduce the epidemic result to child life
by heavy mitigation of stress
upon academic subjects
.
However
, there are a huge number of incidents reported regarding the younger generation, who have experienced bad feelings about society because they are not involved with external people and lack practical knowledge about how they survive in society. In addition
to this
, scientific observation was carried out to find the best way to control the individual's stress
level during school
or university life
, and it has been vividly highlighted by performing a variety of surveys in these places to get proper measurement
of the dropdown Fix the agreement mistake
measurements
stress
of the
Correct article usage
apply
life
.
In conclusion, the controversial factor about removing the practical subjects
from the syllabus would have a dramatically negative effect on the child and younger generation by indirectly causing a causing a
hefty amount of Remove the redundancy
apply
stress
involved with them.Submitted by keranda.sac on
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task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples and evidence to support your arguments. This will enhance the depth of your discussion and make your points more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph clearly supports your main idea. Sometimes the argumentation can be more direct and clearly linked to the central premise. Consider making the connections between ideas more explicit.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear disagreement with the idea of removing non-academic subjects, showing a firm stance on the issue.
coherence cohesion
You have included a clear introduction and conclusion, which help frame and wrap up your arguments effectively.
coherence cohesion
The logical flow of the essay is generally maintained, making it easier for the reader to follow your line of thought.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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