Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

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There is a phenomenon that some
children
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spend lots of time on their
smartphones
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,
for example
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, they use it
play
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to play
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online games, talk with other people on social media and so on. In my opinion, there are several factors contributing to
this
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case, and
this
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phenomenon is a
both-side
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both-sided
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sword. There are several reasons
for
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apply
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why
children
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spend hours on their
smartphones
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. One of the main reasons is that
smartphones
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could satisfy the needs of different
kinds
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of
children
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. To be specific,
for
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apply
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introverted
children
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,
they
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apply
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might feel exhausted and uneasy
to communicate
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communicating
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with each other either face to face or online,
then
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smartphones
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provide a very clandestine space for them to stay in their comfort zone and do something that they like to do.
Moreover
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, for extroverted
children
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,
smartphones
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could let them not only meet different new friends
,
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apply
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but
also
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communicate with friends more frequently, leading to
cement
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cementing
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their relationships.
However
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,
to
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from
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my perspective,
this
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development is both positive and negative, it depends on how
children
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make use of
smartphones
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. On the one hand,
smartphones
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could benefit
children
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. The reason is that there
are
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is
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almost all
kinds
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of knowledge
in
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on
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the internet, in
this
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case, when
children
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is
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are
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interested in some areas or have some questions about some things, they
could
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can
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use
smartphones
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to learn more knowledge or ask some professionals online about that field, both of which could benefit the development of
children
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.
On the other hand
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,
smartphones
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could have some drawbacks,
due to
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all
kinds
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of inaccurate information. To be specific,
children
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might learn something wrong from the internet,
such
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as violation and fraud, since
this
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part of information might not be filtered, giving rise to the unhealthy mental health of
children
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. In conclusion,
smartphones
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could
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can
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meet all
kinds
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of people's needs is the main reason for
this
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development.
Although
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spending hours on
smartphones
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both
have
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has
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advantages and disadvantages, in my opinion, if
government
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the government
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strengthen the regulation of all
the
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apply
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misinformation,
then
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the advantages might outweigh the disadvantages.
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task achievement
Your essay addresses the prompt effectively by providing reasons why children spend time on smartphones and discussing both the positive and negative aspects of this trend. However, ensure that you cover each point with more depth and clarity.
coherence cohesion
While your essay has a good structure, improving the connection and flow between paragraphs can lead to a more cohesive argument. Using more linking words and phrases to show the relationship between ideas will help.
task achievement
To strengthen your main points, offering more specific examples will help reinforce your arguments. Avoid vague references and back up your claims with concrete evidence or scenarios.
coherence cohesion
Try to avoid repetition and aim for a more varied sentence structure. This will make your essay more engaging and easier to follow. Additionally, addressing any grammar or vocabulary mistakes will enhance clarity.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly outlines the topic and your stance on it, setting up a clear direction for the essay.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is logically structured with a noticeable introduction, body, and conclusion, making it easy to follow your arguments.
task achievement
You have effectively covered both the positive and negative aspects of children spending time on smartphones, demonstrating a balanced view.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • smartphones
  • usage
  • technology
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • entertainment
  • gaming
  • social media
  • communication
  • educational resources
  • addiction
  • dependence
  • negative effects
  • physical health
  • mental health
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