IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

These days, fooddays, food travels long distances before reaching consumers, and it is therefore believed that consuming locally grown food would bring about a number of economic and environmental benefits. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages ?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It has become a recent trend that
food
Use synonyms
 is transported long distances to consumers, which makes some
people
Use synonyms
 recognize the
benefits
Use synonyms
 of local products from both environmental and economic perspectives. The advantage of long transportation is to increase financial
benefits
Use synonyms
 for companies
while
Linking Words
 there are some disadvantages as tracks and planes pollute the environment severely. The primary benefit of the distant delivery of
food
Use synonyms
 is to boost
economical
Replace the word
economic
show examples
benefits
Use synonyms
 as
company
Correct article usage
the company
show examples
 transports products to a place where they are
demanded
Change preposition
in demand
show examples
.
In other words
Linking Words
, it will be more lucrative for businesses when their orders increase from distant regions, making it a valuable opportunity for them to spread their
food
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
,
earnings
Correct article usage
the earnings
show examples
 of a fish company called Sash in Mie rose by nearly 30% since it started to deliver its unique
food
Use synonyms
 to the inland where the supply of marine products is extremely
lower
Replace the word
low
show examples
.
Thus
Linking Words
, the business turns out
succeessful
Correct your spelling
successful
, meeting the various needs of
people
Use synonyms
 in different areas. The disadvantage of
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon is the increasing damage to the environment as more transportations are used. Indeed, the contamination of air has become an emergent issue since it leads to an accelerating rise in global temperatures. To illustrate
this
Linking Words
,
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 temperature
rises
Wrong verb form
has risen
show examples
 by about 1.5 degrees Celsius since the number of tracks delivering
food
Use synonyms
 to distant places increased dramatically in 2018.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the continuous reliance on long transportation will make the Earth a more hostile place to live for both animals and humans, which requires long periods of time for recovery. In conclusion, the
benefits
Use synonyms
 of long transportation
encourages
Change the verb form
encourage
show examples
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
 to expand as it successfully meets the
need
Fix the agreement mistake
needs
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
 in various places.
However
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 should be aware of
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
serious side
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
show examples
 as vehicles pollute nature beyond the control of humans.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure all main points are well-supported with evidence or examples to strengthen the argument.
coherence cohesion
Work on using more varied linking words and phrases to enhance the flow between sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
The essay clearly states the trend and gives a balanced view of both advantages and disadvantages, which is good for Task Response.
coherence cohesion
The structure of the essay with a clear introduction and conclusion enhances readability.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Carbon footprint
  • Greenhouse gas emissions
  • Fuel consumption
  • Local economy
  • Local farmers
  • Boosts
  • Fresher produce
  • Nutritious
  • Transit
  • Seasonal eating
  • Varied diet
  • Balanced diet
  • Preserve
  • Farmland
  • Green spaces
  • Limited variety
  • Monotonous diet
  • Higher costs
  • Imported food
  • Smaller-scale production
  • Reduced economies of scale
  • Climate constraints
  • Year-round
  • Shortages
  • Natural disasters
  • Weather conditions
What to do next:
Look at other essays: