The table below shows the worldwide market share of the notebook computer market for manufacturers in the years 2006 and 2007 Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below shows the worldwide market share of the notebook computer market for manufacturers in the years 2006 and 2007

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
The table compares the
market
share
of several
computer
brands
around the world in three particular years; 2006, 2007, and 2014.
Overall
, it is evident that HP, Dell, and Toshiba
computer
brands
showed an upward trend,
while
Samsung, Lenovo and Fujitsu
computer
brands
experienced a slight fluctuation over the years.
Conversely
, other
computer
brands
had a downward trend
throught
Correct your spelling
throughout
through
the period. In 2006, the
market
share
of HP brand was 31.4% which gradually increased to 34.25% by 2014, making it the dominant
manufactuter
Correct your spelling
manufacturer
among other
brands
.
Following
this
, Dell's production
has
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
16.6% of
total
Correct article usage
the total
show examples
market
share
and significantly rose to 26.12% by 2014.
Similarly
,
Toshiba
Correct article usage
the Toshiba
show examples
brand had only 6.2% of
market
Correct article usage
the market
show examples
share
in 2006 before slightly
climbed
Wrong verb form
climbing
show examples
to 8.12%.
On the other hand
, Samsung's production was 11.6% of
total
Add an article
the total
show examples
market
in 2006 before falling to 10.7% by the next year.
However
,
this
number slowly rose to 14.20% by the end of
period
Add an article
the period
show examples
. Lenovo and Fujitsu
brands
had a similar movement, their
market
shares were 6.6% and 4.8%, respectively, before decreasing to 6.2% and 2.3% by 2007. Their figures,
however
, moderately climbed to 7.10% (Lenovo) and 3.1% (Fujitsu) by 2014.
In contrast
, other
brands
' production had 22.8% of
total
Correct article usage
the total
show examples
market
share
in 2006 and sharply decreased to 7.11% by 2014.
Submitted by chocolate10 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
Vocabulary: Replace the words market, share, computer, brands with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "climbed" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • market share
  • percentage points
  • market presence
  • ranking
  • market leader
  • least market share
  • total market share
  • market consolidation
  • market diversification
  • new entrants
  • exits
  • highlight
  • compare
  • decline
  • increase
  • improvement
  • loss of ground
  • manufacturer
  • worldwide
  • notebook computer
  • notable
  • significant
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