Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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It is generally accepted that most
mega
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megacities
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cities
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are running out of space
due to
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population growth alongside developments. Even though most
cities
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want to maintain their
beauty
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, in my
opinion
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opinion,
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governments should maximize the space available for more useful projects. There is a tendency to believe that compact
cities
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could ruin their
beauty
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. But it needs to be taken into account that the
world
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is growing at a rapid pace.
Therefore
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countries need to use their land effectively.
For instance
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, Singapore is generally known as a small country but they are able to be one of the fastest growing countries. Their
city
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plan is very compact which could be a bad influence
to
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on
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their
beauty
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but
as a
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result
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result,
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the country is able to keep up with the rest of the
world
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.
Second,
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a primary factor for consideration is population. Experts believe that the population of the
world
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is increasing rapidly. It is said that younger generations are moving into larger
cities
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to find a job. Resulting
to
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in
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a problem where
cities
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would need more housing for people to live
.
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in.
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For
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this
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reason, I think the government should take into consideration better
city
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planning. More affordable housing could lead to growth in society. Taking everything into consideration,
although
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some might argue that
beauty
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is key to a good
city
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. I still think that efficiency is the main objective for most
cities
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,
therefore
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maximizing the space available in each
city
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so the country won't fall behind on the progression of the
world
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.

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task response
Consider addressing both views in detail. Discuss the benefits and limitations of increasing sports facilities and propose alternative measures to improve public health.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next to enhance logical structure. Use linking words or phrases to create clear connections between ideas.
coherence cohesion
Strengthen main points by providing more detailed examples and evidence to support arguments, increasing the effectiveness of explanations.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion which frames the argument succinctly.
task response
Your main ideas about efficient city planning and housing are insightful and contribute well to the argument focus.
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