Write about the following topic: Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

It is generally accepted that most
mega
Correct your spelling
megacities
show examples
cities
are running out of space
due to
population growth alongside developments. Even though most
cities
want to maintain their
beauty
, in my
opinion
Add the comma(s)
opinion,
show examples
governments should maximize the space available for more useful projects. There is a tendency to believe that compact
cities
could ruin their
beauty
. But it needs to be taken into account that the
world
is growing at a rapid pace.
Therefore
countries need to use their land effectively.
For instance
, Singapore is generally known as a small country but they are able to be one of the fastest growing countries. Their
city
plan is very compact which could be a bad influence
to
Change preposition
on
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their
beauty
but
as a
result
Add a comma
result,
show examples
the country is able to keep up with the rest of the
world
.
Second,
a primary factor for consideration is population. Experts believe that the population of the
world
is increasing rapidly. It is said that younger generations are moving into larger
cities
to find a job. Resulting
to
Change preposition
in
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a problem where
cities
would need more housing for people to live
.
Change preposition
in.
show examples
For
this
reason, I think the government should take into consideration better
city
planning. More affordable housing could lead to growth in society. Taking everything into consideration,
although
some might argue that
beauty
is key to a good
city
. I still think that efficiency is the main objective for most
cities
,
therefore
maximizing the space available in each
city
so the country won't fall behind on the progression of the
world
.
Submitted by riani.the2 on

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task response
Consider addressing both views in detail. Discuss the benefits and limitations of increasing sports facilities and propose alternative measures to improve public health.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next to enhance logical structure. Use linking words or phrases to create clear connections between ideas.
coherence cohesion
Strengthen main points by providing more detailed examples and evidence to support arguments, increasing the effectiveness of explanations.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion which frames the argument succinctly.
task response
Your main ideas about efficient city planning and housing are insightful and contribute well to the argument focus.

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