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Writing Samples /
Band 5

The plans below show an airport in 1980 and following its development in 2020

#plans #show #airport #development
The given maps compare how an airport changed between 1980 and 2020.
Overall
,
it is clear that
 there were certain changes in the airport, especially the additional facilities and
rise
Correct article usage
the rise
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the number of
gates
. Looking at the airport in 1980, there
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 a few amenities for
passengers
 when departing
passengers
 crossed over the entrance, they saw a check-in counter on the left and a
cafe
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the right of the corner, near the security and passport control
area
.
Furthermore
, there
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 eight
gates
 and the
passengers
 had to walk to
gates
Correct article usage
the gates
show examples
.
Additionally
, the arriving
passengers
 had no services when they
wew
Correct your spelling
were
 in the arrivals
area
. In terms of significant changes in 2020, it is interesting to note that the number of entrances and exits had been doubled in order to better
served
Change the form of the verb
serve
show examples
 the
passengers
. Regarding
Correct article usage
the departures
show examples
departures
Change the noun form
departure
show examples
area
, the check-in desk
had
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
 been relocated to the opposite position
comparing
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 with the old one in 1980.
I
Correct your spelling
In
show examples
 2020, the
cafe
 was
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the left of the corner near the entrances,
moreover
, a new baggage drop counter had been added
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the same side of the
cafe
. There were shops had been constructed
for serving
Change preposition
to serve
show examples
 the
passengers
 after passing through the security and passport control
area
. It is
also
 worth noting that the number of
gates
 had been expanded with 10 additional
gates
 and the
passengers
 were served by sky train services. Looking at the arrivals
area
, a
cafe
 and a currency exchange counter had been opened. The space was enlarged to the left of the corner near the exits with
purpose
Add an article
the purpose
show examples
 of hiring car services.
Submitted by ng.hg.ly28 on

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task achievement
Ensure grammatical accuracy and include more details and examples to make your response more comprehensive. More comparative language could strengthen your task response.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical flow of ideas. For example, making sure each paragraph clearly transitions to the next or relates back to the main topic sentence.
coherence cohesion
The introduction clearly presents the topic and the maps being discussed, setting a clear topic for the essay.
task achievement
The essay includes specific examples, such as changes in the number of gates and the relocation of facilities, which helps anchor the discussion of changes over time.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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