Some people believe that governments should have access to people’s mobile phone call records and messages for safety reasons. Others believe that this information is private and should not be available without permission. Discuss both these views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

#people #governments #access #people’s #phone #records #messages #safety #information #permission

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There is a strong debate whether the

government

Use synonyms

shuld has

Wrong verb form

should have

show examples

access to check the private

messages

Use synonyms

and calls of the citizens or not. It is agreed that

people

Change noun form

people's

show examples

phone calls and

messages

Use synonyms

must stay confidential and private but as long as

this

Linking Words

access will

safe

Replace the word

save

show examples

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

and protect the community,

then

Linking Words

am totally agree

Change the verb form

totally agree

show examples

with letting the

government

Use synonyms

Change the verb form

apply

show examples

check

messages

Use synonyms

and calls to serve the country.

However

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

essay

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

will discuss why

such

Linking Words

an information

Remove the article

information

a piece of information

show examples

should be reachable and give examples to illustrate the condition. On one hand, some individuals complain that some security

agenies

Correct your spelling

agencies

which

is belong

Change the verb form

belong

show examples

to the

government

Use synonyms

keep

spy

Wrong verb form

spying

show examples

on their private calls and texts

while

Linking Words

they have not

give

Wrong verb form

given

show examples

any consent

regard

Change the form of the verb

regarding

show examples

this

Linking Words

issue. These people only think about

them

Correct pronoun usage

themselves

show examples

selfs

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

entirly

Correct your spelling

entirely

neglect

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

home security and safety.

For example

Linking Words

, a lot of

terriorst

Correct your spelling

terrorist

attacks were stopped before

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

happened just because the

government

Use synonyms

discovered the plan on text

messages

Use synonyms

and phone calls.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, advancement of the technology and mobile applications

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

helped terrible people to use it in

Correct article usage

the

show examples

wrong way.

For instance

Linking Words

, some teenagers

used

Wrong verb form

use

show examples

some apps to record girls in videos and blackmail them. So,

as a result

Linking Words

, some young girls were mentally and

psycologically

Correct your spelling

psychologically

effected

Correct your spelling

affected

show examples

because of

misuse

Correct article usage

the misuse

show examples

this

Linking Words

technology.

Therefore

Linking Words

, once the

ministry

Capitalize word

Ministry

show examples

security

Capitalize word

Security

show examples

of each country can access these apps,

this

Linking Words

will lead to captured criminals and prevent

harms

Fix the agreement mistake

harm

show examples

before

its

Correct pronoun usage

show examples

happen

Correct subject-verb agreement

happens

show examples

To sum up

Linking Words

although

Linking Words

each

humen

Correct your spelling

human

being

have

Wrong verb form

has

show examples

the right to have secrets and private life, the

government

Use synonyms

must explain

this

Linking Words

is an

urgency

Replace the word

urgent

show examples

method to keep and secure the safety of the community.

Submitted by 361109698 on Thu Oct 03 2024

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Grammar

Work on ensuring subject-verb agreement and correct plural forms. For example, replace 'government shuld has' with 'government should have' and 'some security agenies which is' with 'some security agencies which are.'

Lexical Resource

Try to use synonyms to avoid the repetition of words or phrases. For example, instead of repeating 'government,' you could also use 'authorities' or 'state.'

Task Response

Use more specific examples to support your points, such as referencing actual cases or incidents, to make your essay more convincing and detailed.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your essay provides a clear structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion.

Task Achievement

You've offered balanced viewpoints by discussing both sides of the argument, which effectively addresses the task prompt.

Coherence and Cohesion

The conclusion effectively summarizes your opinion on the matter.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
33
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

275 words

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