IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. It is observed that in many countries not enough students are choosing to study science as a subject. What are the causes? And what will be the effects on society? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

#minutes #countries #students #study #science #effects #society
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The tabular chart represents the differences of people who went abroad for visiting purposes in four different
years
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.
Overall
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, it is clearly apparent that the
number
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 of visitors was in increasing trend.
Similarly
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, Europe had the highest
number
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 of travellers during all periods.
In contrast
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, the Middle East welcomed the least
number
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 of tourists.
Initially
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, the
number
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 of visitors in Europe increased dramatically over 15
years
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 reaching 400.2
million
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 travellers in 2005 which was previously 280.2
million
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 in 1990.
However
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, the
number
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 decreased in America by 5
million
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 in the
last
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 five
years
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 reaching 113.2
million
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 in 2005 from 118.2
million
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 in 2000.
On the other hand
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, the
number
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 of tourists in Asia grew to approximately 20
million
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 people in every five
years
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.
Additionally
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, the
number
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 of visitors in Africa was slightly expanding where 28.7
million
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 guests were carried.
Conversely
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, the Middle East had the least
number
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 of explorers among five different areas serving just 15.8
million
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 tourists in 2005.
Submitted by cranjal07 on

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task response
Try to provide a more comprehensive response by including all the key points mentioned in the task prompt, detailing the causes behind the lack of students opting for science.
task response
Use clear and comprehensive examples or evidence to support your ideas, as this will increase your clarity of thought.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea, and develop it with logical reasoning and supported examples.
coherence cohesion
Include a stronger introduction and conclusion that clearly present and summarize your main points.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes a logical structure and generally maintains a clear direction. There is a noticeable attempt to sequence information and ideas logically, with an overall flow from general observations to specific details.
task response
The essay presents observations and attempts to provide evidence through data, which strengthens the argument about different regions and their trends in tourism.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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