with a fast pace of modern life, more and more people are turning towards fast food for their main meal. do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

In
present
Correct article usage
the present
show examples
scanerio
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scenario
,
modern
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the modern
show examples
population is taking
a junk
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junk food
a portion of junk food
show examples
food
as a main meal.
Its
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It's
It is
show examples
a burning issue nowadays. Despite
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
all the pros, there are some cons as well. And I believe its disadvantages overshadow its advantages to some extent.
Consequently
, I shall put forward both the sides in following writeup. To commence with the demerits, first and foremost one is health
issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
show examples
. Fast
food
is very minacious for
human
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the human
show examples
body because it contains
lot
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a lot
show examples
of unhealthy ingredients.
For instance
, street foods are made of too
much
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many
show examples
spices and
oil
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oils
show examples
and
ultimately
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are ultimately
show examples
very rich in calories which paves the way
of
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for
show examples
diseases like obesity, heart attack, diabetes and many more.
Although
its
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it
show examples
taste
Correct subject-verb agreement
tastes
show examples
delicious,
its
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it's
it is
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bitter for
long
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a long
show examples
liofe
Correct your spelling
time
. One more additional thing is
these
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this
show examples
food
is
costly
Correct quantifier usage
more costly
show examples
than home cooked
food
. So,
its
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it's
it is
show examples
much more relevant for
individual
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individuals
show examples
to eat at home rather than spending
a
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apply
show examples
money on harmful
food
. Meanwhile, fast
food
has some advantages too.
Firstly
,
its
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it
show examples
time saving
thus
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and thus
show examples
very suitable for
them
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those
show examples
, who are working full-time. To
examplify
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exemplify
,
someone
Correct word choice
if someone
show examples
is working from morning to evening and
then
do
Correct subject-verb agreement
does
show examples
not have enough time to cook
food
then
they can straight go and buy something to mitigate their
hungerness
Correct your spelling
hungers
hungriness
.
Secondly
,
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
tasty
that is
why more
food
lovers are very fond of fast
food
now. To recapitulate the discussion, I pen down saying that fast
food
is not good for
body
Add an article
the body
show examples
even if it has a big
time saving
Add a hyphen
time-saving
show examples
advantage.
Thus
, its disadvantages are
more
Add an article
a more
show examples
concerning thing and its advantages
ecilipsed
Correct your spelling
eclipsed
by disadvantages.
Submitted by pratikmistry090 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Try to organize your ideas more logically, with a clear structure for each paragraph to enhance coherence and cohesion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Improve the introduction to set the context more clearly and address both advantages and disadvantages explicitly.
Task Achievement
Work on using more relevant and specific examples to support your points.
Task Achievement
Clarify your main ideas more comprehensively to strengthen the task response.
Task Achievement
You provided a broad response to the question with both advantages and disadvantages.
Coherence and Cohesion
A conclusion was included, which summarized the discussion and provided an overall opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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