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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The charts below show three types of police reports from the city of Johnstown in 2016, along with Johnstown’s average monthly temperature. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show three types of police reports from the city of Johnstown in 2016, along with Johnstown’s average monthly temperature. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The
subjected
Replace the word
subject
show examples
report
Use synonyms
disclouse
Correct your spelling
discloses
 more about the three types of police reports in the city of Johnstown of the
year
Use synonyms
 2016.
Firstly
Linking Words
, there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 three kinds of reports mentioned in the chart between January
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
to December, the first one is
Theift
Use synonyms
report
Use synonyms
, Noise Complaints and
Traffic
Use synonyms
 Violations. As
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
shown
Add the auxiliary verb
was shown
show examples
, in January the percentage of
Use synonyms
Theift
Correct your spelling
Theft
report
Use synonyms
 is 20%, Noise Complaints less than 20% and the
Traffic
Use synonyms
 reached up to 180%. Moving to the Second Quarter of the
year
Use synonyms
 we can see that there is an
increasment
Correct your spelling
increase
increased
increasing
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
Use synonyms
Theift
Correct your spelling
Theft
report
Use synonyms
 and Noise, but less in
Traffic
Use synonyms
 .
Linking Words
Second
Add an article
The second
show examples
,
third
Correct word choice
and third
show examples
 part of the
year
Use synonyms
 shows big
diffrences
Correct your spelling
differences
difference
 in the number of
Use synonyms
theift
Correct your spelling
theft
Use synonyms
report
Change to a plural noun
reports
show examples
 as it went up to 140% with
decrease
Add an article
the decrease
a decrease
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
Traffic
Use synonyms
 to
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
150%,
Last
Linking Words
 quarter of the
year
Use synonyms
the
Correct article usage
the the
show examples
Use synonyms
theift
Correct your spelling
theft
reduce
Wrong verb form
reduced
show examples
 to 80% and the
Traffic
Use synonyms
 ranked 160%. In conclusion, 2016
year
Use synonyms
 shows that the highest
report
Use synonyms
 was
Traffic
Use synonyms
 Violations
comparing
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 to others.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words report, year, theift, traffic with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • data representation
  • crime rate
  • monthly variations
  • correlation
  • theft
  • vandalism
  • assault
  • seasonal trends
  • temperature fluctuations
  • peak
  • decline
  • law enforcement
  • civil disorder
  • statistical analysis
  • public safety
  • climatic influence
  • incidence rate
  • aggregate data
  • preventative measures
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