The number of indigenous tribes living traditional lives in the world’s rainforests is decreasing. Within a few decades the last of these indigenous tribes may have disappeared forever. What are the causes of this problem and what can be done to prevent it from happening?
In the
last
few years, the amount of indigenous
Capitalize word
Indigenous
people
who live in the reainforests
has Correct your spelling
reforests
droped
significantly, Correct your spelling
dropped
moreover
, the predictions says
that they may vanish completely over time.
Change the verb form
say
Overall
, this
decrease in numbers could be a reason of
the recent development in the world, which made Change preposition
for
people
tend to prefer living in cities, or large towns in general, because nowadays large cities provied
more job Correct your spelling
provide
provided
opertunities
with better salaries, and Correct your spelling
opportunities
much
more convenient services as in having Correct quantifier usage
many
every thing
near to you, Correct your spelling
everything
for instance
, governmental buildings, commercial stores, also
fast internet.
Even though, traditional life in rainforest
or any small town or village, can be good, it is a lot quieter, has Add an article
the rainforest
a rainforest
peaceful
Correct article usage
a peaceful
live style
, Correct your spelling
lifestyle
also
Correct word choice
and also
healther
, old Correct your spelling
healthier
people
may like it more than cities, in
the other hand, Change preposition
on
young
generation Correct article usage
the young
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
quite
different opinion, they probably will choose the noisy modern life.
To solve Change the article
quite a
a quite
this
issue, governments should help by providing all the services to these rainforest gathers, this
can be done via
online, and of course that would be Change preposition
apply
applyed
after providing network services all over the country, Correct your spelling
applied
further
more
, Correct quantifier usage
apply
indigenous
Capitalize word
Indigenous
people
should be more incouraged
to live there.
In conclusion, in my opinion, the world today has changed, and Correct your spelling
encouraged
some times
it is better to get used to the new thing, Correct your spelling
sometimes
may be
rainforest Correct your spelling
maybe
people
have to get into living in other places rather than what they used
to, they can be sad Add a missing verb
are used
due to
these dramatic changes in their lives, but it is totally normal.Submitted by aojubair1 on
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task achievement
To enhance your score in task achievement, focus on providing more specific examples that directly relate to the causes and solutions for the decline of indigenous tribes. This will make your argument more convincing and comprehensive.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, work on linking your ideas more clearly and logically throughout the essay. Use transitional words and phrases to guide the reader through your argument.
task achievement
You have identified some relevant causes and solutions for the decline of indigenous tribes living in rainforests, which shows an understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has an introduction and conclusion which summarize your points and provide a full circle to your argument.
coherence cohesion
You have attempted to present contrasting opinions, which adds depth to your essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.