IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many employees are able to work at home due to modern technology. Some people claim that it can benefit only the workers, not the employers. Is it a positive or negative development?

the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
modren
Correct your spelling
modern
 technology is
baving
Correct your spelling
paving
having
 the road
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
high
Add an article
the high
a high
show examples
 quality of life. in
this
Linking Words
 essay,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will demonstrate the remote working advantages
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
business
Use synonyms
 sectors.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the essay will shed light on
disadvantages
Correct article usage
the disadvantages
show examples
 of
strict
Correct article usage
a strict
show examples
 working
atmosphare
Correct your spelling
atmosphere
 when
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
employers
Use synonyms
 enforce working in offices. first of all,
crisis
Add an article
the crisis
a crisis
show examples
is
Verb problem
does
show examples
 not always
impacting
Wrong verb form
impact
show examples
 our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 negatively. It
also
Linking Words
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
Correct article usage
a positave
show examples
positave
Correct your spelling
positive
 side that
allow
Change the verb form
allows
show examples
humanty
Correct your spelling
humanity
 to discover solutions
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
obstecales
Correct your spelling
obstacles
obstacle
. A clear example is corona
panadamic
Correct your spelling
pandemic
 that have
lockdown
Fix the agreement mistake
lockdowns
show examples
 on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
entire communities around the globe,
this
Linking Words
 led to
depend
Replace the word
dependence
show examples
 on remote working at home for
business
Use synonyms
continuty
Correct your spelling
continuity
.
As a result
Linking Words
 of adopting
this
Linking Words
 methodology, the current businesses are
serviving
Correct your spelling
surviving
servicing
 and continue
thier
Correct your spelling
their
business
Use synonyms
dispite
Correct your spelling
despite
 the
challages
Correct your spelling
challenges
 during that period.
This
Linking Words
 clearly
demonistrates
Correct your spelling
demonstrates
positive
Correct article usage
a positive
show examples
impact
Use synonyms
 on both
workers
Use synonyms
 and
employers
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, company owners
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
suffered from
Use synonyms
workers
Change noun form
workers'
worker's
show examples
 attendance of required meetings and and actual interaction with
workers
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 led to
communication
Correct article usage
a communication
show examples
 gap between employees and
employers
Use synonyms
 with financial
impact
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
 virtual working at home. For
instant
Replace the word
instance
show examples
, company owners
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
strugled
Correct your spelling
struggled
in conducting
Change preposition
to conduct
show examples
 regular meetings
due to
Linking Words
 technical bugs
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 virtual meeting applications, taking into
considration
Correct your spelling
consideration
 the dramatic increase
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 internet demand that slows
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
business
Use synonyms
 processes.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
workers
Use synonyms
 were disengaged from
business
Use synonyms
 offices with
heavy
Add an article
a heavy
show examples
 negative
impact
Use synonyms
 on the
Use synonyms
workers
Change to a genitive case
worker's
workers'
show examples
 physiological health. In
conclution
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, working virtually from home had huge advantages
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
employers
Use synonyms
 and employees by
utalization
Correct your spelling
utilization
 of
modren
Correct your spelling
modern
 technologies to overcome the
panadamic
Correct your spelling
pandemic
 period.
While
Linking Words
 negative
impact
Use synonyms
 was imposed on company owners
due to
Linking Words
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of control over the
workers
Use synonyms
 and
establishment
Correct article usage
the establishment
show examples
 of communication
can
Verb problem
apply
show examples
between employees and
employers
Use synonyms
.

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task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt, recognizing both the advantages and disadvantages of remote work for businesses. To improve, you could directly address whether it is a positive or negative development clearly in your opinion.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph's purpose is clear, and transitions between points logically. Address each idea fully and systematically.
task achievement
Support your assertions with more specific examples or data where possible. This would enhance the depth of your task response.
coherence cohesion
Avoid repetition of ideas and ensure each paragraph contributes unique insights or examples.
coherence cohesion
The essay effectively begins with a thematic introduction highlighting modern technology's role.
task achievement
Attempts are made to discuss points from both the employee and employer perspectives.
task achievement
The essay acknowledges the impact of modern technology in work environments, which is relevant to the prompt.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • remote work
  • telecommuting
  • flexible working hours
  • overhead costs
  • corporate social responsibility
  • employee retention
  • carbon footprint
  • global talent pool
  • peak productivity times
  • job satisfaction
What to do next:
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