During the 20th century, contact between different parts from the world has developed rapidly thanks to air travel and telecommunication. To what extent do you agree that societies benefit from the increased contact and closer relationships with foreigners brought by international tourism and business?

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The contact
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Contact
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among
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apply
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globally has
been
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seen
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tremondous
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tremendous
change in
20th
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the 20th
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century,big thanks to
Digital
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the Digital
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World!!. I would strongly support that, it is rapid growth
throught
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through
throughout
world
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the world
show examples
about
comminication
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communication
and healthy relationships with foreigners.
To begin
with,
Due to
excellent
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the excellent
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landscape of technology development in IT industries mandated the
collobaration
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collaboration
between people .
For instance
, if any firm is trying to incorporate new technology in their services
which
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it
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needs more
reasearch
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research
to incorporate changes without destroying the
existed
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existing
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structure.
Which
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This
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led to
open
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an open
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position
to
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apply
show examples
onsite and
employement
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employment
has been created to hire new
candidate
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candidates
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to
satisify
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satisfy
business needs which is
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a substancial
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substancial
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substantial
improvement economy
to
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of
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country
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the country
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.
Additionally
, When it comes to education
now a days
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nowadays
show examples
many students are willing to migrate
foreign
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to foreign
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and
pursuing
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pursue
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their
acadimics
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academics
academic
.indirectly which is adding value to more
revnue
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revenue
in terms of business.
For example
, to start admissions,taking entrance exams like GRE,
TOFELL
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TOEFL
etc ,booking tickets to travel and sem fees would
defenitly
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definitely
be
asset
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an asset
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to
foreign
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the foreign
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government.
Moreover
,
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apply
show examples
Due to
this
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
global travel by
the
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apply
show examples
people would lead to
multicultarism
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multiculturism
multiculturalism
and lead to form healthy relationships among us.
Which
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This
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is all happening because of
this
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
digital developments like social media,
technology
Correct word choice
and technology
show examples
. With
this
Add a comma
this,
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I firmly assert that societies benefit from the increased contact and closer relationships with foreigners brought by international tourism and business.
Submitted by swathi.neni1913 on

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Coherence & Cohesion
Improve the introduction for clarity and better definition of the main topic.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use more transition words to connect ideas smoothly.
Coherence & Cohesion
Include a clearer and more defined conclusion that summarizes the main points.
Task Response
Clarify your main arguments and ensure each paragraph communicates one clear idea.
Language Use
Use more precise language and remove small inaccuracies.
Task Response
You provided relevant examples like the influence of technology on international communication and the role of higher education in fostering international relationships.
Task Achievement
The essay recognizes the significant changes brought about by technology and globalization.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural assimilation
  • Economic stimulus
  • Diplomatic rapport
  • Globalization
  • Sustainable tourism
  • Multiculturalism
  • Innovation
  • Infrastructure development
  • Cross-cultural communication
  • International trade
  • Eco-tourism
  • Cultural heritage
  • Foreign investment
  • Exchange of expertise
  • Global village
  • Cultural diversity
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