During the 20th century, contact between different parts from the world has developed rapidly thanks to air travel and telecommunication. To what extent do you agree that societies benefit from the increased contact and closer relationships with foreigners brought by international tourism and business?
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The contact
Correct article usage
Contact
among
globally has Change preposition
apply
been
Correct your spelling
seen
tremondous
change in Correct your spelling
tremendous
20th
century,big thanks to Correct article usage
the 20th
Digital
World!!.
I would strongly support that, it is rapid growth Correct article usage
the Digital
throught
Correct your spelling
through
throughout
world
about Correct article usage
the world
comminication
and healthy relationships with foreigners.
Correct your spelling
communication
To begin
with, Due to
excellent
landscape of technology development in IT industries mandated the Correct article usage
the excellent
collobaration
between people .Correct your spelling
collaboration
For instance
, if any firm is trying to incorporate new technology in their services which
needs more Correct pronoun usage
it
reasearch
to incorporate changes without destroying the Correct your spelling
research
existed
structure.
Replace the word
existing
Which
led to Correct pronoun usage
This
open
position Correct article usage
an open
to
onsite and Change preposition
apply
employement
has been created to hire new Correct your spelling
employment
candidate
to Fix the agreement mistake
candidates
satisify
business needs which is Correct your spelling
satisfy
Correct article usage
a substancial
substancial
improvement economy Correct your spelling
substantial
to
Change preposition
of
country
.
Add an article
the country
Additionally
, When it comes to education now a days
many students are willing to migrate Correct the word
nowadays
foreign
and Change preposition
to foreign
pursuing
their Wrong verb form
pursue
acadimics
.indirectly which is adding value to more Correct your spelling
academics
academic
revnue
in terms of business.
Correct your spelling
revenue
For example
, to start admissions,taking entrance exams like GRE,TOFELL
etc ,booking tickets to travel and sem fees would Correct your spelling
TOEFL
defenitly
be Correct your spelling
definitely
asset
to Add an article
an asset
foreign
government.
Correct article usage
the foreign
Moreover
,Change preposition
apply
Due to
this
global travel by Correct determiner usage
apply
the
people would lead to Correct article usage
apply
multicultarism
and lead to form healthy relationships among us.Correct your spelling
multiculturism
multiculturalism
Which
is all happening because of Correct pronoun usage
This
this
digital developments like social media,Correct determiner usage
apply
technology
. With Correct word choice
and technology
this
I firmly assert that societies benefit from the increased contact and closer relationships with foreigners brought by international tourism and business.Add a comma
this,
Submitted by swathi.neni1913 on
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Coherence & Cohesion
Improve the introduction for clarity and better definition of the main topic.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use more transition words to connect ideas smoothly.
Coherence & Cohesion
Include a clearer and more defined conclusion that summarizes the main points.
Task Response
Clarify your main arguments and ensure each paragraph communicates one clear idea.
Language Use
Use more precise language and remove small inaccuracies.
Task Response
You provided relevant examples like the influence of technology on international communication and the role of higher education in fostering international relationships.
Task Achievement
The essay recognizes the significant changes brought about by technology and globalization.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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