The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
As an adult, we
spent
Wrong verb form
spend
show examples
most of our time at
work
Use synonyms
. In view of
this
Linking Words
, some employees expressed their expectation
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
a curtailed working
week
Use synonyms
and a longer
weekend
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
. Personally, it is my contention that a shorter working
week
Use synonyms
and a longer holiday will bring merits as it helps people to maintain
work
Use synonyms
-life balance, resulting in raising their
energy
Use synonyms
as well as
Linking Words
passion at
work
Use synonyms
. First and foremost, a prolonged
weekend
Use synonyms
can allow workers to take enough rest,
hence
Linking Words
,
preserve
Wrong verb form
preserving
show examples
energy
Use synonyms
that
help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
better prepare for the job to do at
work
Use synonyms
. In order to finish our job perfectly, we need to put plenty of effort into it.
However
Linking Words
, one’s
energy
Use synonyms
is limited. We won’t be energized all the time. Given
this
Linking Words
situation, rest becomes a vital element in our lives to help us charge ourselves. In Hong Kong, statistics often show that most of the employees can’t get a good rest because of the heavy workload during the working
week
Use synonyms
.
Thus
Linking Words
, it is believed that the weekdays can be shorter and holidays can be extended, it can benefit an individual in preserving
energy
Use synonyms
and contribute to a better result at
work
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, a curtailed working
week
Use synonyms
and
a
Change the article
an
show examples
extended
weekend
Use synonyms
allow the workers to feel that they are precious
by
Change preposition
to
show examples
the company and raise their passion at
work
Use synonyms
. From the mental perspective,
for example
Linking Words
,
according to
Linking Words
some interviews, it is
founded
Verb problem
found
show examples
that employees, especially teachers have expressed their need to have more breaks. Not only do they need to
work
Use synonyms
in office time on workdays, but there are follow-thoughts.
Hence
Linking Words
, if more holidays can be provided and the working
week
Use synonyms
can be lessened,
in other words
Linking Words
, their voices and needs are listened to and fulfilled, they may be more willing to engage in
work
Use synonyms
. It helps to evoke their sense of belonging to the company and build a high level of job satisfaction. They will put more passion
at
Change preposition
into
show examples
work
Use synonyms
consequently
Linking Words
.
To sum up
Linking Words
, owing to the above reasons, we can see how a lessened working
week
Use synonyms
and a longer
weekend
Use synonyms
can
bring
Verb problem
have
show examples
positive influences
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
a person considerably. It is
therefore
Linking Words
obvious that it is indispensable to make
such
Linking Words
a change.
Submitted by asllchkied on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Introduce more specific examples or data to strengthen your points, such as surveys or studies that support the argument for shorter working weeks.
coherence cohesion
Try to vary your sentence structures more to enhance the flow and readability of your essay, which can contribute to better coherence and cohesion.
coherence cohesion
You have presented a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your argument that a shorter working week has several benefits.
coherence cohesion
There is a good logical structure throughout your essay, and the arguments are generally well-organized and follow a clear progression of ideas.
task achievement
You have effectively addressed the task by discussing the benefits of a shorter working week, such as improved work-life balance and increased job satisfaction.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • productivity
  • burnout
  • motivation
  • mental well-being
  • work-life balance
  • job satisfaction
  • pollution levels
  • traffic congestion
  • consumer spending
  • economic implications
  • leisure and service sectors
What to do next:
Look at other essays: