The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?
As an adult, we
spent
most of our time at Wrong verb form
spend
work
. In view of this
, some employees expressed their expectation in
a curtailed working Change preposition
of
week
and a longer weekend
instead
. Personally, it is my contention that a shorter working week
and a longer holiday will bring merits as it helps people to maintain work
-life balance, resulting in raising their energy
as well as
passion at work
.
First and foremost, a prolonged weekend
can allow workers to take enough rest, hence
, preserve
Wrong verb form
preserving
energy
that help
better prepare for the job to do at Change the verb form
helps
work
. In order to finish our job perfectly, we need to put plenty of effort into it. However
, one’s energy
is limited. We won’t be energized all the time. Given this
situation, rest becomes a vital element in our lives to help us charge ourselves. In Hong Kong, statistics often show that most of the employees can’t get a good rest because of the heavy workload during the working week
. Thus
, it is believed that the weekdays can be shorter and holidays can be extended, it can benefit an individual in preserving energy
and contribute to a better result at work
.
In addition
, a curtailed working week
and a
extended Change the article
an
weekend
allow the workers to feel that they are precious by
the company and raise their passion at Change preposition
to
work
. From the mental perspective, for example
, according to
some interviews, it is founded
that employees, especially teachers have expressed their need to have more breaks. Not only do they need to Verb problem
found
work
in office time on workdays, but there are follow-thoughts. Hence
, if more holidays can be provided and the working week
can be lessened, in other words
, their voices and needs are listened to and fulfilled, they may be more willing to engage in work
. It helps to evoke their sense of belonging to the company and build a high level of job satisfaction. They will put more passion at
Change preposition
into
work
consequently
.
To sum up
, owing to the above reasons, we can see how a lessened working week
and a longer weekend
can bring
positive influences Verb problem
have
to
a person considerably. It is Change preposition
on
therefore
obvious that it is indispensable to make such
a change.Submitted by asllchkied on
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task achievement
Introduce more specific examples or data to strengthen your points, such as surveys or studies that support the argument for shorter working weeks.
coherence cohesion
Try to vary your sentence structures more to enhance the flow and readability of your essay, which can contribute to better coherence and cohesion.
coherence cohesion
You have presented a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your argument that a shorter working week has several benefits.
coherence cohesion
There is a good logical structure throughout your essay, and the arguments are generally well-organized and follow a clear progression of ideas.
task achievement
You have effectively addressed the task by discussing the benefits of a shorter working week, such as improved work-life balance and increased job satisfaction.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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