IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In many countries, the government prioritises economic growth above all other concerns. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this.

#countries #government #prioritises #growth #concerns
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In many countries, the
government
 emphasizes economic development
above all
 other concerns. The benefits of
this
 are it
increases
 the annual
income
 of the general public
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and improves the
infrastructure
 of a
country
. The drawbacks are the other important
sectors
 of a
country
 experience neglect, and the
environment
 gets polluted. One of the benefits of only prioritizing economic
growth
 is it
increases
 the annual
income
 of the general public. If a
country
 has
rich
Add an article
a rich
the rich
show examples
economy
, the
government
 and other companies can pay good salaries to their employees, which
increases
 the annual
income
 and improves the lifestyles of citizens.
Moreover
, economic
growth
 helps to improve the
infrastructure
 of a
country
. A
country
 with
rich
Correct article usage
a rich
show examples
economy
 can provide modern facilities to its citizens
such
 as developed roads and highways, high-rise buildings and many more.
For instance
, since 2010, the
economy
 of Bangladesh has started getting strong, and the
infrastructure
 of the
country
 especially the roads and highways has developed a lot. If the
government
 only emphasizes economic
growth
, the other important
sectors
,
such
 as healthcare, education, employment,
defense
Change the spelling
defence
show examples
 and social justice experience neglect from the
government
.
This
Correct determiner usage
These
show examples
sectors
also
 require the same attention and monitoring from the
government
 to function well.
In addition
, the improvement of
Correct article usage
the
show examples
economy
 pollutes the natural
environment
. Several industries and factories emit
carbon-dioxide
Correct your spelling
carbon dioxide
show examples
 and other harmful chemicals, which
pollutes
Correct subject-verb agreement
pollute
show examples
air
Correct article usage
the air
show examples
, water and
natural
Correct article usage
the natural
show examples
environment
.
For instance
, the
government
 of India has recently aimed for economic development to increase GDP
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and has established numerous factories to increase the production of clothing, which is severely polluting water. In conclusion, the benefits of only emphasizing economic
develoment
Correct your spelling
development
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 it
increases
annual
Add an article
the annual
show examples
income
 of the public
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and improves the
infrastructure
 of a
country
. The disadvantages of only prioritizing economic
growth
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 it pollutes the
environment
, and the other important
sectors
 of a
country
 get
neglect
Wrong verb form
neglected
show examples
.
Submitted by rahman_rehana on

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task achievement
Work on integrating more specific examples and evidence to support your main points. This will enhance the clarity and strength of your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Try to refine the logical structure by ensuring a seamless flow of ideas between paragraphs. This can often be achieved by utilizing more transitional phrases or connectors.
task achievement
The essay does well in presenting both the advantages and disadvantages of prioritizing economic growth, effectively addressing the question.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear introduction that sets up the topic and a conclusion that summarizes the main points.
coherence cohesion
The essay is organized into paragraphs that tackle individual points, which helps in maintaining a logical flow.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • economic growth
  • quality of life
  • standard of living
  • infrastructure development
  • employment opportunities
  • environmental impact
  • wealth disparity
  • modernization
  • sustainable development
  • Gross Domestic Product (GDP)
  • industrialization
  • ecological footprint
  • capital investment
  • urbanization
  • economic prosperity
  • fiscal policy
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