Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to control what people are saying and doing (for instance, through cellphone tracking and security. cameras. In many cases, the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?
In recent years , the use
op
technology to monitor Correct your spelling
of
people
activities , Change noun form
people's
such
as cell phone tracking and CCTV cameras, las
become increasingly common. Correct your spelling
has
While
this
development has several benefit
, including increased security and Change to a plural noun
benefits
conuiniene
, it has Correct your spelling
convenience
also
raised concerns, about privacy ant
Correct your spelling
and
potential
for abuse, in my Correct article usage
the potential
opinion
the benefits of Add the comma(s)
opinion,
this
technological advacement
outweigh the drawbacks , but only if used responsibly al properly regulated .
One Correct your spelling
advancement
or
the main benefits of monitoring technology is improved public safety.
pudic safety and crime prevention. Correct your spelling
of
For example
, CCTV cameras in public spots can deter criminal activity and help law enforcement solve crimes more effectively. Additionally
, cell phone tracking can help in finding missing people or responding to emergencies making communities safer overall
.
another benefit is the Correct your spelling
convenience
convinience
and Correct your spelling
convenience
Correct your spelling
efficiency
efficiently
efficienty
it brings to Correct your spelling
efficiency
every day
life
Replace the word
everyday
for example
, cell phone tracking allows apps to provide persolized
services Correct your spelling
personalized
personalised
such
az
navigation Correct your spelling
as
reccomdation
or finding lost devices Correct your spelling
recondition
similarly
companies can use this
function for tracking usually citizens or good transit.Submitted by akzharkynzhamal on
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grammar
Ensure you check your work for typos and grammatical errors, as this can affect clarity and coherence. For example, 'las' should be 'has', 'conuiniene' should be 'convenience', and 'ant' should be 'and'.
structure
Your essay would benefit from a more defined structure. Consider clearly outlining your main points in the introduction and summarizing them in a conclusion.
balance
For a more complete response, ensure you explore both sides of the argument in detail and provide a balanced discussion on the advantages and disadvantages.
introduction
You effectively introduced the topic and provided your opinion clearly, which sets a solid foundation for your discussion.
relevance
Your essay discusses relevant points about the benefits of technology in improving public safety and convenience, which shows a good understanding of the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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