IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best way to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #university #college #career #job #school
In general,in life,there is no rule that everyone needs to get a qualification or not. First of all. Some
people
 go for additional lessons
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and spend energy and money.They are not few, but many.The most interesting,there are
also
 a lot of elderly
people
 among them.The previous said to get knowledge from seven years old to seventy years old.He who has knowledge is not lacking. So why are many older
people
 reading now? Because
on the other hand
, young
people
's interest in reading has decreased. They are interested in money. "Why cannot" We say that, because right now we can get temporary with a qualification even if we do not have a diploma. We know
people
 who have achieved success without a diploma.They are simple
people
.They are individual.
Secondly
,
this
 is the view of the Uzbeks, but what is the opinion of Europeans?American popular and famous person Warran Baffet said "Depending on personal goals and opportunities, university education may be useful for some, and other ways may be more convenient for others.I drew my own conclusions from Baffet's words. In my view, all
people
 have their personal opinions in life. They work based on their lives.I know ."A person who takes someone else's word for it will never be able to achieve temporality on his own". It is up to you to choose your own path.
Submitted by saydusmonovasomiddin94 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion
Organize the essay with clear paragraphs for introduction, body, and conclusion to improve the logical flow of ideas.
Task Achievement
Expand on examples and main points to illustrate your arguments more thoroughly.
Coherence and Cohesion
Improve transitions between ideas to enhance the essay's coherence and readability.
Task Achievement
You have successfully presented both views on the topic, which is critical in discussing essays.
Task Achievement
Your essay demonstrates an understanding of the topic and provides a personal opinion, aligning well with the task requirement.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: