IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1

If a product is good can meet people's needs, people will buy it. Advertisement in the media is no more than form of entertainment. To what extent, do you agree or disagree with their opinion?

#product #people #advertisement #media #form #entertainment
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In recent years, the number of cases of traumatic head injury has increased, accompanied by misconceptions among patients and their families. Whether the patient is an adult or a child, fear and misunderstanding are often present in
such
 situations. Understanding their limitations in knowledge and how they cope is crucial for determining where
to begin
 the educational journey and identifying the factors that contribute to these misconceptions.
This
 review will explore various aspects, including age, gender, economic status, region within Saudi Arabia, and the level of awareness, with the goal of identifying gaps and guiding future interventions.
Submitted by asmaahamedal on

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task achievement
The essay should more clearly address the given prompt about advertisements and how they relate to product purchases. Ensure that you directly connect your discussion to the effects of advertising as entertainment.
coherence cohesion
Consider expanding on how the various aspects, such as age, gender, or economic status, have specific impacts on misunderstandings related to traumatic head injuries. This will support your main points more effectively.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction is well-structured, clearly setting up the focus of the essay – exploring misconceptions about traumatic head injuries.
supported main points
The essay demonstrates an understanding of the issues surrounding traumatic head injuries, which adds depth to the discussion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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