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Band 5

The rise of social media has affected personal, relationships and society as a whole. Do the advantages of using socila meida for communication outweitght the disavantages.

#rise #media #relationships #society #socila #meida #communication #outweitght #disavantages
It is commonly believed that the usage of social platforms
enourmosly
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enormously
grow
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grows
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 up
amoung
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among
 users,
hence
 it
set
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sets
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 off a barrier with humanity. With the help of social
media
people
 tend to interact less with each other, as technology gives a chance to stay in touch in every form. To commence with, by the extension of technology use
people
 tend to be more likely to be underestimated, since clarification across the internet is not a a piece of cake. By
the
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apply
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way of illustration, utilizing text messages can be comprehended diversely
via
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by
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 human beings.
Moreover
, it can be one of the factors that induce to fealty bond, from that point by not interacting physically relationship can
loose
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lose
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 its affinity.
Thus
, misunderstanding and bereavement can be traces of online connection. Getting back into the details, digital
media
played
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plays
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 a vital role in youngsters' lives. As it's not merely used for contacting along miles,
network
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the network
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 gives an opportunity to chat with mysterious
people
 from any other point of the earth.
According to
 the statistics, over 50% of
media
 users were involved in peril.
Furthermore
, communication tools will decrease face-to-face skills, which leads to isolation feeling.
Hence
, as
people
 increasingly rely on virtual links, the nuances of non-verbal cues and personal connections may diminish, impacting the quality of relationships.
To conclude
,
negative
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the negative
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 footprints of social
media
 should not be underrated, whilst the usage of it
have
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has
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 to be decreased time by time. By switching
media
 to
ordinary
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an ordinary
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 lifestyle, youngsters will straight away recognize
difference
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the difference
a difference
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 in life.
Submitted by aliyevashams4 on

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task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points and strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
Ensure each main idea is fully developed with supporting details to enhance clarity.
coherence cohesion
Try to improve logical connections and transitions between paragraphs to enhance the overall flow.
coherence cohesion
Working on sentence structure and avoiding repetition will improve clarity and coherence.
task achievement
Your essay does a good job of covering both advantages and disadvantages of social media.
coherence cohesion
You have effectively included an introduction and conclusion, providing a clear start and end to your discussion.
coherence cohesion
The essay attempts to illustrate its points with relevant examples, showing a good level of engagement with the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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