2.Is it better for people to live in the same place all their lives or to live in different places? Give reasons and examples to support your views.

No
one
can deny that the place where we live is essential and important. It can influence our lives in so many aspects. Some people find it better to change their place every couple
years
Change preposition
of years
show examples
and some of them prefer to belong to
one
home all over their lives. I personally think that changing our surroundings has a lot of negative effects. First of all,
move
Wrong verb form
moving
show examples
from
one
area to another has
terrible
Add an article
a terrible
show examples
impact on study and work. If you were studying and
build
Wrong verb form
building
show examples
a wall of friends in your school,
then
you will be suffering if you go away from
this
school and go to another
one
.
According to
statistics collected by
Oxford
Correct article usage
the Oxford
show examples
university
Capitalize word
University
show examples
group, moving from
one
house to another
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mental and physical health. Another reason,
Change preposition
for transfering
show examples
transfering
Correct your spelling
transferring
your things to another place is wasting money and time.
For example
, if you want to move, you will need a truck to transfer all your things and you will take a long time to organize them in your new home too.
In addition
, carrying heavy
equipments
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
show examples
can harm your health badly and cause you diseases
such
as disc.
According to
WHO 50%
people
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of people
show examples
who are suffering from
disc
Fix the agreement mistake
discs
show examples
are mentioned
Wrong verb form
mention
show examples
that they
are carrying
Wrong verb form
carry
show examples
a lot of high
weights
Fix the agreement mistake
weight
show examples
,
as
Correct word choice
and as
show examples
a result, they
destroyed
Wrong verb form
destroy
show examples
their
back
Fix the agreement mistake
backs
show examples
.
To sum up
,
although
I believe that no need to change our houses or areas, sometimes people are forced to change them based on their jobs and
requirements
Correct article usage
the requirements
show examples
of life.
Submitted by tiofz.alabri on

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task achievement
Make sure to fully develop each point with relevant examples and explanations. For instance, while discussing the negative effects of moving frequently, explain why these issues outweigh any potential benefits.
task achievement
Try to use more varied examples that directly support each point. While the examples provided are relevant, adding more specific details could strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Ensure to have a strong and clear link between all ideas and paragraphs. While the essay has a good flow, enhancing the connection could provide greater clarity.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction clearly states your position, and the conclusion effectively summarizes your ideas.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a logical structure with points organized into paragraphs, making it easy to follow your argument.
task achievement
You make good use of statistics and examples, particularly when citing studies from Oxford University and WHO.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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