It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages ?

I agree that taking
risks
both
in professional lives and personal lives is advantageous. It is advantageous to take
risk
Fix the agreement mistake
risks
show examples
in
both
professional and personal
life
because it is always present in financial opportunities,
live changing
Correct your spelling
life-changing
show examples
decisions
, and personal
discovery
. First of all, taking
risks
for existing or searching for yet to be
dicovered
Correct your spelling
discovered
financial opportunities is advantageous in which to seek better offers. An example would be if we are currently situated in a managerial role for a company for a certain amount of salary, should an offer
came
Wrong verb form
come
show examples
for a similar role for a
better
Rephrase
apply
show examples
better salary treatment from another company, it is still a
risk
to switch jobs as it meant of a different work environment and perhaps task goals.
However
, it is
also
risky to stay in the same role at the same company as you might never move up.
Thus
, we should weigh which is more advantageous personally.
Next,
taking
risks
on
live changing
Correct your spelling
life-changing
show examples
decisions
.
While
not all
live changing
Correct your spelling
life-changing
show examples
decisions
will be a good one, you should consider the end goal of said decision. An example would be if you were going to have a child, and
thus
have to quit your job.
Both
decisions
are risky and advantageous where you
risk
having a child late or never or to
risk
losing your job temporarily or forever. Here we need to assess which options matter more, and regardless,
while
risky
both
will affect your future for the better or the worse.
Lastly
, taking
risks
for personal
discovery
. It is important to take
this
risk
as the saying goes "
how
Capitalize word
How
show examples
do you know, if you don't try?". Personal
discovery
can range from trying out delicacies to trying out hobbies. These
risks
can range from discomfort to
life threatening
Add a hyphen
life-threatening
show examples
situations
such
as broken bones and food poisoning. But it is definitely important to take
as
Correct pronoun usage
it as
show examples
it could be an important
discovery
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
yourself. In summary, it is advantageous to take
risks
as it is present in all matters of
life
. We should not be afraid to take
risks
as it could lead to better financial opportunities,
life
changes, and
self
Add a hyphen
self-discovery
show examples
discovery
.
Submitted by lydiaia on

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task achievement
Try to develop your ideas more fully in each paragraph. While your main points are clear, giving more detailed explanations or additional examples would strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Ensure clarity and accuracy in your language. Some minor inaccuracies or awkward phrases can be smoothed out through careful proofreading.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are both clear and provide a good overview of your stance on the topic.
task achievement
The essay provides relevant examples that illustrate your points well.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Opportunities
  • Growth
  • Innovation
  • Challenges
  • Self-discovery
  • Resilience
  • Uncertainty
  • Consequences
  • Calculated risks
  • Stagnation
  • Regret
  • Comfort zone
  • Entrepreneurship
  • Adventurous spirit
  • Thriving
  • Failure
  • Mitigate
  • Reap the rewards
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