IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Organizing a large family celebration such as a wedding can often create problams. What can be problams associated with organizing a large family event and what solutions can you suggest? Write at least 250 words.

#celebration #problams #event
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organizing for an enormous ceremony like
birthday
Correct article usage
a birthday
show examples
 or wedding
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 can cause many vital issues. In the following
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
 I’ll discuss the reasons for
this
Linking Words
 and how to problem could be solved. Planning could
be caused
Wrong verb form
cause
show examples
 crucial issues in many fields
such
Linking Words
 as the
number
Use synonyms
 of
invitation
Fix the agreement mistake
invitations
show examples
 and a method to inform them.
For instance
Linking Words
, for
reserve
Correct article usage
the reserve
show examples
 celebration’s place, the host should know the
number
Use synonyms
 of
attendances
Correct your spelling
attendees
show examples
 to evaluate which area is appropriate for
this
Linking Words
 celebration.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, for food and beverages, the host should prepare appropriate utilities to supply guests’
demand
Fix the agreement mistake
demands
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, The Cost could be another important problem. These days people forget about the main reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 their celebrations. They just want to represent
they
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 ability and
qualification
Fix the agreement mistake
qualifications
show examples
 to
organizing
Wrong verb form
organise
show examples
 a ceremony much better than other
persons
Replace the word
people
show examples
.
Due to
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
Fix the agreement mistake
reason
show examples
reasons
Add a comma
reasons,
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host
Fix the agreement mistake
hosts
show examples
 should paid exorbitant money and it can put a lot of pressure on them to perform
perfect
Change the adjective
perfectly
show examples
. There are many methods for solving these vital and
harass
Replace the word
harassing
show examples
 problems.
However
Linking Words
, from my point of view, having a timetable and foreseeing the problem can assist hosts to deal in an easier way with these problems. Knowing the
number
Use synonyms
 of people who attend
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the celebration could be helpful
to provide
Change preposition
in providing
show examples
 enough
Use synonyms
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
utilities or
reserve
Wrong verb form
reserving
show examples
 an appropriate place.
In addition
Linking Words
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
, the guests should consider and remember the main reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
ceremony
Correct article usage
the ceremony
show examples
 and
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
not have much expect from the hosts to be faultless and omnipotent. To sum it up, arranging a great celebration can cause
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
plenty of issues. In order to tackle
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
these problems, people can cut their high anticipation and
also
Linking Words
 assist
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
hosts
to have
Change preposition
in having
show examples
 a better plan for
Add an article
the invitation
an invitation
show examples
invitation
Fix the agreement mistake
invitations
show examples
.
Submitted by mr.sadeghnezhadengineer on

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task achievement
Clarify key arguments and ideas for greater impact and understanding.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to better illustrate the points discussed.
coherence cohesion
Improve transitions between paragraphs to enhance flow.
coherence cohesion
Avoid sentence fragments and ensure subject-verb agreement.
introduction conclusion present
The essay introduces the topic effectively and concludes well.
logical structure
The essay addresses several important issues related to organizing large celebrations.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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