The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activites at one social centre in melbourne, australia for the period 2000 to 2020

#information #numbers #participants #activites #centre #melbourne #australia #period

The graph below illustrates the

participants

Change to a genitive case

participant's

participants'

show examples

numbers of various activities at one social

center

Change the spelling

centre

show examples

Overall

, there are

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

show examples

several differences between Melbourne and Australia during the period 2000 to 2020. As can be seen, from 2010 to 2020 the number of table tennis

participants

has been

Verb problem

apply

show examples

increased dramatically to

become

Verb problem

apply

show examples

participants

while

the number of film club

participants

was fluctuated

Change to the active voice

fluctuated

has fluctuated

show examples

as well

Correct word choice

and

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

martial

art

Fix the agreement mistake

arts

show examples

has been

Verb problem

apply

show examples

fluctuated during the period between 2000

until

Correct word choice

and

show examples

2020. Clearly, in 2005 the number of amateur dramatics

participants

was 25

participants

and

then

has been decreasing

Wrong verb form

decreased

show examples

yearly until

become

Wrong verb form

became

show examples

participants

in 2020. As shown, there are no

participants

in musical performances, it

was remained

Change to the active voice

remained

show examples

stable during the period between 2000 to 2005, and

then

has

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

increased gradually in 2020 to

become

Verb problem

apply

show examples

participants

. From an

overall

perspective, it is obvious that there are several differences

between

Change preposition

apply

show examples

regarding the

participants

in various activities between 2000

until

Correct word choice

and

show examples

2020

Submitted by walkuwari11 on Sat Oct 05 2024

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words participants with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "differences" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "numbers of" was used 4 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "fluctuated" was used 2 times.

▼

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

157 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activites at one social centre in melbourne, australia for the period 2000 to 2020

Some people prefer to eat at food stands or restaurants. Other people prefer to prepare and eat food at home. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination, while others think that there are more important factor, such as momey and appearance. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

task 2: in some countries, young people have become richer, healthier anf live longer, but they are less happy. What are the causes? What can be done to address this situation?

Some people believe that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, believe that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In some cities, public parks and open spaces are being changed into gardens where local residents can grow their own food and vegetables. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?