IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

As a country develops, more people are able to purchase a car. Do you think that the positive for the individual outweigh the negatives for the environment?

#country #people #purchase #car #negatives #environment
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It is a topical subject if the need
of buying
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to buy
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 a car is enough to make it because of the harmful effect on the environment. When countries improve the citizens have to adjust. It is very often connected with
traveling
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travelling
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 because of industrialization. I concur that nowadays being able to arrive quickly is more important than the cost that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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nature pays.
To begin
 with, big lands make it impossible to travel with environmentally friendly transport items. Electric cars may
seems
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seem
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 to be a solution;
however
, the battery inside those cars has
insanely
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an insanely
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 negative impact on the planet.
On the other hand
, biking may
seems
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seem
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 to be a solution.
Nevertheless
, in case of any
emergency
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emergency,
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 it takes away the possibility to quickly transport someone to the hospital.
Certainly
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Certainly,
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 human life is more important.
Consequently
, choosing to have a car is a safer option.
Moreover
, it would result
with
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in
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 many supply-related problems.
For instance
, farmers who grow
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
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 vegetables want to supply them to the clients in a bigger amount.
Therefore
, they need a truck to make a good deal. I strongly believe that the impact on the air will bring smaller cons than making people unemployed because of regulations.
To sum up
, it is
contentious
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a contentious
the contentious
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 issue whether
to
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apply
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individuals should acquire
the
Correct article usage
a
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 car or not. Analysis of the subject in
this
 essay shows that it is bad for
people
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people's
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 daily unforeseen situations,
as well as
, the well-being of enterprises. In my opinion,
advantages
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the advantages
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 outweigh
disadvantages
Correct article usage
the disadvantages
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 that people would have to pay.
Submitted by Aga on

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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a strong framework for your arguments.
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