IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The plans show how a coastal land has developed into a coastal park.

#plans #show #land #park
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The two maps illustrate various changes coastal
land
 had undergone before and after regeneration into
coastal
Add an article
the coastal
a coastal
show examples
park
. Another notable feature is the lands for agriculture and unused
land
 in front of the cliff has been completely renovated to develop a coastal
park
.
Initially
, the
land
 featured agriculture facilities. Over time, the development focused on preserving natural and enhancing spaces. Before development in the
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 of coastal
land
, there were farm buildings on the side road.
Moreover
, to the right of the layout was agricultural
land
 accounting for the largest area.
Whereas
 the other side
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 unused
land
 and animal shelters. After development into
coastal
Add an article
the coastal
a coastal
show examples
park
, the farm building was removed to make room for car parks and a new coffee shop was installed behind the car
park
.
Furthermore
, agricultural
land
 was renovated into the woods with a slightly smaller area.
Similarly
, located to the left of these constructions at present is a lake.
In addition
, a footpath was built surrounding from the west on the west to the woods on the east. Eventually, the cliff has steps to allow people to access the beach more easily.
Submitted by elsenglish16992 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure more consistent paragraphing and use of cohesive devices for better flow.
task achievement
The response provides an overall picture and some details, but should establish clearer links between features and developments.
task achievement
Include more specific examples or data to support descriptions.
task achievement
Good effort in providing an overview of the changes and improvements made to the land.
coherence cohesion
Clear attempts to structure the essay with sections focusing on different aspects of development.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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