IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.Write about the following topic: People living in the 21st century have a better quality of life than the previous centuries. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words

#minutes #topic #people #st #century #quality #life #centuries
Recently, the problem
has
Correct pronoun usage
that has
show examples
 been brought into focus is that a growing number of individuals think that people living in the 21st century have a better
quality
 of
life
 than
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 previous centuries. Personally, I strongly agree with
this
 view. In
this
 essay, I will discuss my opinion. First of all, it must be affirmed that the digital revolution has made our daily lives significantly more comfortable. Nowadays, with the support of the Internet and smartphones, accessing
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
information, connecting with people around the world, and learning knowledge have become easier than ever. Thanks to that, society has become more informed and engaged.
Also
, technological advancement brought
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
us a plethora of technological tools which have helped our daily lives more
efficiently
Change the word
efficient
show examples
 and convenient
such
 as online banking,
e-commerce
Correct word choice
and e-commerce
show examples
,….
This
 made everyday tasks more manageable and less time-consuming.
Furthermore
, the development of medical services showed an enhanced
quality
 of
life
 compared to previous centuries. Thanks
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
modern medical innovations, it has not only helped to increase people’s
life
 expectancy but
also
 improved our
quality
 of
life
 with effective treatment and preventive care. The enhancement of medical technology
also
 has made medical breakthroughs,
thus
 helping to reduce recovery times for patients.
For instance
, the advancements
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 medical imaging have made doctors’ diagnoses become more accurate so that they can provide effective treatment for their patients.
To sum up
, the 21st century has brought us a much better
quality
 of
life
 than in previous periods.
This
 is
due to
 the outstanding development in digital technology and medical services, thereby making human
life
 more convenient and efficient.
Submitted by elsenglish16992 on

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task achievement
Ensure that all main points are consistently supported by specific and relevant examples to enhance the credibility of your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Try to further elaborate on the points using specific data or studies, where possible, to strengthen your argument.
introduction conclusion present
The essay presents a clear and strong introduction, outlining the writer’s stance effectively.
logical structure
The structure of the essay is logical and flows well from one point to the next, making it easy for the reader to follow.
clear comprehensive ideas
The essay includes a clear and comprehensive discussion about both technological and medical advancements, demonstrating a strong understanding of the topic.

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