IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many people believe that the government should provide free healthcare for all citizens. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view? ar least 250 words

#people #government #healthcare #citizens #ar
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A proportion of societies believe that healthcare should be chargeless for all citizens. In
this
 essay I will discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply
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two aspects of
this
 important subject after that, I will enhance my personal opinion
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
 subject. On the one hand, some
people
 believe that poverty should not be
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 main reason to prevent
people
 from being healthy.
Furthermore
, based on treatment costs which
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 so high for some vital illnesses and specialists
such
 as
oculist
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oculists
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 and
dermatologist
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dermatologists
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,
people
 should not be
concern
Wrong verb form
concerned
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 about the costs
instead
Correct word choice
but instead
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 on being focus on their cure process.
Although
 it might have a huge charge for
Correct article usage
the desire
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desire
Wrong verb form
desired
show examples
 country or state.
However
, if the
government
 do not do
this
, they will spend that saved money on
train
Wrong verb form
training
show examples
 new manpower for their requirements.
For instance
, in pandemic
illness
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illnesses
show examples
such
 as
COVID 19
Add a hyphen
COVID-19
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, governments prefer to provide
vaccine
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vaccines
show examples
instead
 of being passive.
On the other hand
, the other portion
have
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has
show examples
 faith in, developing specialists for any qualification or providing appropriate and modern
equipments
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
show examples
 might be expensive and it could be unreasonable for
government
Add an article
the government
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 to spend that enormous money on
this
 part of their country.
Moreover
, forcing
people
 to pay an insignificant part of their cure process could be very helpful for
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 to save
much
Correct quantifier usage
a lot of
show examples
 money and spend it on
anther
Correct your spelling
another
show examples
 Crucial part of
country
Add an article
the country
show examples
. To sum it up,
with
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apply
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considering
that
Correct determiner usage
the
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 two different aspects of
this
 subject, from my point of view, it is so critical for the
government
providing
Change the verb form
to provide
show examples
 free healthcare services to all members of society, regardless of their welfare or type of illness.
Submitted by mr.sadeghnezhadengineer on

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task achievement
Enhance the clarity and effectiveness of your main ideas by supporting them with more specific examples and explanations. For instance, expand on why free healthcare can prevent poverty-related health issues.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow of the essay by ensuring that transitions between points are smoother and more connected. Use linking words more effectively to guide the reader through your arguments.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame and summarize the discussion.
task achievement
The essay attempts to address both sides of the argument regarding free healthcare, which is a complex and nuanced subject.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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