IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people feel that high school students should only learn literature from their own country, while others feel that they should be exposed to literature from around the world. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #school #students #literature #country #world
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Some people think that high school
students
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 must only
study
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 the literary works from the
country
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 they come from
whereas
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 others argue that it is crucial for
students
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 to
also
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 acknowledge
literature
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 from around the
world
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.
Although
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 both
literature
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 are equally important, I stand with the latter view because learning various
literature
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, not limited to a particular
country
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, will provide more
knowledge
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 for the
students
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. On the one hand, learning local
literature
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 should be mandatory for
students
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 because not only it is a part of the curriculum,
it
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but it
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also
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 means that
students
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, who are part of the future generations, help to preserve the culture, as many local
literature
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 came from cultural heritage.
For instance
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, some public universities in Indonesia offer local
literature
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study
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 programs,
such
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 as Batak
literature
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 and Javanese
literature
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, with the aim
to maintain
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of maintaining
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 the value and literary
knowledge
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 of tribes in Indonesia.
As a result
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, it is important to
study
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 local
literature
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 because it maintains the culture.
On the other hand
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, learning about
literature
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 from
other
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another country
other countries
show examples
country
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also
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 benefits the
students
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 where they get to know the history of some notable events in the
world
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.
Moreover
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,
this
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also
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develop
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develops
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global
Correct article usage
the global
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knowledge
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 of the
students
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.
For example
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,
students
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 from international schools in Indonesia are more exposed to international
literature
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 and they are more rich in terms of the
knowledge
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 of historical events from all over the
world
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.
Therefore
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, the
study
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 of
literature
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 should cover international ones to give the
students
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 exposure
about
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to
show examples
 the
world
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. In conclusion,
while
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 some suggest that
students
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 should limit their
literature
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knowledge
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 to only one
country
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, I believe that
students
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 need to get exposed to
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 countries'
literature
Use synonyms
 because it helps them to learn about global historical events.
Submitted by ameliahanakaru01 on

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relevant specific examples
Ensure to include more varied examples to strengthen the arguments. Including specific literary works or historical references would enrich the essay significantly.
clear comprehensive ideas
To enhance the essay, slight refinements in the sentence structure and vocabulary could be beneficial. This would make the ideas not only clear but also engaging.
introduction conclusion present
The essay provides a clear structure, with a strong introduction and conclusion that address the topic effectively.
logical structure
The argument is developed logically, with each viewpoint explained and supported systematically.
complete response
The essay adequately discusses both sides of the issue, offering a balanced view which contributes to a comprehensive response.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural identity
  • National values
  • Cultural roots
  • Sense of identity
  • Historical context
  • Broadened perspectives
  • Open-mindedness
  • Diverse worldviews
  • Language proficiency
  • Global citizenship
  • Human experiences
  • Comprehensive education
  • Balanced curriculum
  • Global narratives
  • Rich literary traditions
What to do next:
Look at other essays: