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Band 5.5

Some people feel that high school students should only learn literature from their own country, while others feel that they should be exposed to literature from around the world. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #school #students #literature #country #world
Some people think that high school
students
 must only
study
 the literary works from the
country
 they come from
whereas
 others argue that it is crucial for
students
 to
also
 acknowledge
literature
 from around the
world
.
Although
 both
literature
 are equally important, I stand with the latter view because learning various
literature
, not limited to a particular
country
, will provide more
knowledge
 for the
students
. On the one hand, learning local
literature
 should be mandatory for
students
 because not only it is a part of the curriculum,
it
Correct word choice
but it
show examples
also
 means that
students
, who are part of the future generations, help to preserve the culture, as many local
literature
 came from cultural heritage.
For instance
, some public universities in Indonesia offer local
literature
study
 programs,
such
 as Batak
literature
 and Javanese
literature
, with the aim
to maintain
Change preposition
of maintaining
show examples
 the value and literary
knowledge
 of tribes in Indonesia.
As a result
, it is important to
study
 local
literature
 because it maintains the culture.
On the other hand
, learning about
literature
 from
other
Change the wording
another country
other countries
show examples
country
also
 benefits the
students
 where they get to know the history of some notable events in the
world
.
Moreover
,
this
also
develop
Change the verb form
develops
show examples
global
Correct article usage
the global
show examples
knowledge
 of the
students
.
For example
,
students
 from international schools in Indonesia are more exposed to international
literature
 and they are more rich in terms of the
knowledge
 of historical events from all over the
world
.
Therefore
, the
study
 of
literature
 should cover international ones to give the
students
 exposure
about
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the
world
. In conclusion,
while
 some suggest that
students
 should limit their
literature
knowledge
 to only one
country
, I believe that
students
 need to get exposed to
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 countries'
literature
 because it helps them to learn about global historical events.
Submitted by ameliahanakaru01 on

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relevant specific examples
Ensure to include more varied examples to strengthen the arguments. Including specific literary works or historical references would enrich the essay significantly.
clear comprehensive ideas
To enhance the essay, slight refinements in the sentence structure and vocabulary could be beneficial. This would make the ideas not only clear but also engaging.
introduction conclusion present
The essay provides a clear structure, with a strong introduction and conclusion that address the topic effectively.
logical structure
The argument is developed logically, with each viewpoint explained and supported systematically.
complete response
The essay adequately discusses both sides of the issue, offering a balanced view which contributes to a comprehensive response.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural identity
  • National values
  • Cultural roots
  • Sense of identity
  • Historical context
  • Broadened perspectives
  • Open-mindedness
  • Diverse worldviews
  • Language proficiency
  • Global citizenship
  • Human experiences
  • Comprehensive education
  • Balanced curriculum
  • Global narratives
  • Rich literary traditions
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