IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

You are about to start social meetings in a particular area where people from different nationalities can take part.Write a letter to the editor of a local newspaper requesting him to publish information about this: What activities you have planned When the first meeting takes place and where Dear Sir,

Dear Sir/ Madam, I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to put forward a request to the editor of a local newspaper to publish about
social
Correct article usage
a social
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 meeting. My name is Ramanpreet and I reside at apartment number 15 Wildsky Road Brampton. I take active participation
for
Change preposition
in
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 the welfare of residents. I have decided to organise a social gathering where people from different nationalities can take part . Various activities have been organized.
Firstly
Linking Words
, dance classes have been introduced, where they can reduce their stress and
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
show their hidden talent.
Secondly
Linking Words
, yoga classes will help them to understand their body needs and will improve their health.
Additionally
Linking Words
, some puzzle games will increase their knowledge and mind skills. It will be placed at Gage Park on 10 October from 8am to 9pm and will continue for 3 days . As you are a famous editor, your help will provide great assistance to all of us . I am looking forward to hearing from you with a prompt response. yours faithfully, Ramanpreet

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coherence cohesion
While the letter is clear, consider organizing the information into distinct paragraphs for each activity to enhance readability.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph clearly supports the main purpose of the letter to maintain strong cohesion.
task achievement
Ensure that the request to the editor is more explicitly stated to strengthen the letter's purpose.
task achievement
The tone of the letter is suitable and respectful, well-suited for addressing an editor.
coherence cohesion
Logical structure of the letter is present, providing a clear sequence of planned activities and event details.
coherence cohesion
The greeting and closing of the letter are appropriately formal for the context.
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