IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#process #sugar #cane #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The given flow chart illustrates the
manufacture
Change the verb form
manufacturing
show examples
 process for making
sugar
 from
sugar
 cane.
Overall
, there are seven steps
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the process
to transform
Change preposition
of transforming
show examples
sugar
canes
Fix the agreement mistake
cane
show examples
 into
sugar
. In terms of producing
sugar
,
a the
Choose an article
the
show examples
sugar
 canes, which are the main ingredients, were
growth
Replace the word
grown
show examples
 first for 12 - 18 months. It
then
 can be harvested in two ways, manually by people and by a machine. After that, the
sugar
canes
Fix the agreement mistake
cane
show examples
then
 put into a crushing machine in order to be transformed into
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
juice. To purify the juice, it has to
put
Add a missing verb
be put
show examples
 into
limestone
Correct article usage
a limestone
show examples
 filter and heated by
evaporator
Correct article usage
an evaporator
show examples
 machine to
then
 become a syrup. In order to take the
sugar
 crystals
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
contained in the syrup, it requires a centrifugal process.
Finally
, after being separated from the syrup,  
sugar
 crystals have to be dried and cooled to be
sugar
.
Submitted by averinasandra on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
▼
Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words sugar with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
▼

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • manufacturing process
  • sugar cane
  • harvesting
  • transporting
  • factory
  • crushing
  • extracting
  • juice
  • filtering
  • impurities
  • heating
  • evaporating
  • syrup
  • boiling
  • crystallizing
  • sugar
  • separating
  • drying
  • packaging
  • distribution
  • stage
  • process
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!