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Band 5.5

Some people think that distance learning programs can never be as good as traditional, face-to-face education. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #distance #programs #education
It is argued by many individuals that studying face-to-face in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
institutes is far
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
better than
distance
 learning. I completely agree with the idea and will support my opinion in the essay with examples. Nowadays
distance
 learning is common, people
preffer
Correct your spelling
prefer
 to learn through recorded video and audio lectures or sometimes through different
youtube
Correct your spelling
YouTube
show examples
 channels. They find
this
 method more useful, easy and less
time consuming
Add a hyphen
time-consuming
show examples
 because there are plenty of videos and lectures on one single topic which they can
acess
Correct your spelling
access
 to.
However
, everything
have
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has
show examples
 its negative side as well,
same
Correct article usage
the same
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 goes with
distance
education
.
Although
 one can access
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the lectures anytime anywhere and can have multiple options
of
Change preposition
for
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 a lecture,
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
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still it would not give them clarity.
As clarity
Correct word choice
Clarity
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 comes with
answer
Correct article usage
an answer
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 and question session and
this
 is not possible without
proper
Add an article
a proper
show examples
 instructor. To clear their confusion about the topic they would need a teacher, which they can only get in traditional learning.
Moreover
, the concept of face-to-face
education
 is adopted all over the world because it is considered
as
Correct your spelling
a
show examples
 better
mean
Fix the agreement mistake
means
show examples
 of
education
. Getting
education
 through
this
 method gives clarity because students learn directly through their teachers.
Additionally
, different
question answer
Add a hyphen
question-answer
show examples
 sessions, practical work and
work shops
Correct your spelling
workshops
show examples
 by lecturers,
makes
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make
show examples
 traditional learning better than
distance
 learning.
Furthermore
, in my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
 traditional learning is a perfect
mean
Fix the agreement mistake
means
show examples
 of
education
 as compared to
dictance
Correct your spelling
distance
 learning .
As no
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No
show examples
 method can convey the concept better than the lecturer in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
physical
education
.
Hence
, it is proven from the above argument that traditional
education
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 more advantages
then
Correct your spelling
than
show examples
distance
 learning. If one wants to acquire a true sense of
education
than
Correct your spelling
then
show examples
 they should choose face-to-face learning over anything.
Submitted by hadiyanasir73 on

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coherence/cohesion
Focus on enhancing the logical flow between your ideas. While you have presented arguments, some of the transitions between paragraphs could be smoother to help the reader follow your line of thought more easily.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to support your points. While your arguments are clear, using specific examples or data could strengthen your response.
task achievement
Be cautious about your grammar and spelling. There are a few small errors, such as 'preffer' instead of 'prefer' and 'better mean' instead of 'better means', which can be distracting to the reader. Aim for accuracy to enhance your writing.
coherence/cohesion
You have a clear and well-structured introduction and conclusion, which clearly state your opinion and summarize your arguments effectively.
task achievement
Your essay offers a complete response to the task with a clear stance that is consistently maintained throughout the essay.
coherence/cohesion
You have organized your points and arguments in a way that makes it easy for the reader to understand your perspective on the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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