IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

A large company in your area has decided to spend a certain amount of money, either to sponsor a local children's sports team for two years or to pay for two open-air concerts. It has asked for feedback from the general public. Write a letter to the company. In your letter: • describe the benefits of sponsoring the sports team • summarise the benefits of paying for the concerts • say how you think the company should spend the money

#company #area #amount #money #sponsor #children #sports #team #two #years #concerts #feedback #summarise
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Dear Mr/Madam I am writing to illustrate my idea about your request from local people to choose one of the two options you offered.
Firstly
, I believe that one of the most important activities for children's spare time is exercising in various kinds of sports games, not only for their health but
also
 for their happiness. Obviously,
this
 requires investing in some modern sports equipment, which your company can support.
On the other hand
, local people need fun ceremonies like open-air concerts that improve their passion.
Moreover
, a charity ceremony can be managed, which can benefit some poor individuals.
Overall
, it would be both exciting and beneficial. In conclusion,
although
 both actions would be happy for our community, I myself prefer providing some equipment and playgrounds to prepare for sports games. Yours faithfully, Mateo Barrel
Submitted by MASOUDREIHANI1964 on

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task achievement
Consider expanding on the benefits of both options to provide a more comprehensive analysis.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph clearly aligns with the specific point mentioned in the task prompt.
greeting and closing
The letter provides a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively opening and closing the discussion.
suitable writing tone
The language used maintains a formal and appropriate tone throughout the letter.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 150 words in writing task 1. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long letter will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 160 to 190 words in writing task 1. This will ensure a concise letter and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 20 minutes to write the letter and you need around 5 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long letter in 15 minutes.

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