It is generally agreed that society benefits from the work of its members. Compare the contributions of artists to society with the contributions of scientists to society. Which type of contribution do you think is valued more by your society?
It is argued that the betterment of
the
Correct article usage
apply
society
is in the hands of its inhabitants. Along with
the role
of scientists
and artists
in the
Correct article usage
apply
society
, their valued
in the community has Change the form of the verb
value
also
been questioned by many people. In my opinion
both Add a comma
opinion,
contribution
Change to a plural noun
contributions
is
important and are valued in Correct subject-verb agreement
are
the
Correct article usage
apply
society
. I agree with the ideas and will support my opinion in this
essay.
Generally, it is said that no society
can flourish without the people in it. So, participation
of Correct article usage
the participation
individual
is necessary for the growth of the community. Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
Besides
volunteer work, hand-in-hand help with the government or contribution
of Correct article usage
the contribution
scientists
and artists
in the community can make Correct article usage
the surrounding
surrounding
a better place to live.
Replace the word
surroundings
Moreover
, Scientists
and Artists
are the more prominent figure
in Fix the agreement mistake
figures
this
regard. The scientific development
in daily life (invention of different machinery for daily use like washing Fix the agreement mistake
developments
machine
, rice Fix the agreement mistake
machines
cooker
, Fix the agreement mistake
cookers
microwave
etc) have made life easier. Fix the agreement mistake
microwaves
Additionally
, advancement
in the defence department (missiles, tanks, bombs Fix the agreement mistake
advancements
and
guns etc) have secured the nations. Correct word choice
apply
Furthermore
, it is also
said that no creation is possible without an
Correct the article-noun agreement
artists
an artist
artists
. Even in designing of
scientific things Change preposition
apply
role
of an artist is valued. They have mad
Correct your spelling
made
society
beautiful and colourful, whether in the form of painting, sketching or spreading colours in the streets.
Commencing to the last
part of the argument, Scientists
were given more value in the past, but now people are more claver
and they know that Fix the agreement mistake
clavers
artists
are also
equally important. As both of them have equal
Add an article
an equal
role
in the society
. If scientists
through developments and inventions can make things advance and easier, then
artists
are the one who makes the life
of inhabitants colourful and Fix the agreement mistake
lives
meaning ful
.
Correct your spelling
meaningful
Hence
, it is proven from the above argument, that the growth of the colony is in the hands of residents. Just like scientists
, artists
are also
valuable because both role
in the Change to a plural noun
roles
sorrounding
Correct your spelling
surroundings
is
equally necessary.Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each argument is clearly developed, with clearer transitions between points. Consider starting each paragraph with a clear topic sentence and provide clear connections between each idea to improve coherence.
task achievement
Strengthen the clarity of your ideas and arguments by clearly defining how artists and scientists contribute to society. Additionally, consider providing more specific examples or evidence to support each point you make.
general language
Proofread your essay to correct minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing, which can slightly impact clarity. This will improve the overall quality of your writing.
coherence cohesion
The introduction effectively outlines the main points the essay will cover, providing a preview of your argument.
task achievement
The essay covers both artists and scientists equally, recognizing the value of each in society.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.