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Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

Some people think that companies and private individuals should pay to clean up the pollution that they produce, not the government. To what extent do you agree?

#people #companies #individuals #pollution #government
Some people believe that individuals and private
companies
 should pay to clean the
pollution
 they produce, and the
government
 should not take
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
responsibility
it
Change preposition
for it
show examples
. I personally believe that every individual and private
companies
Change to a singular noun
company
show examples
 should take
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
responsibility
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the
pollution
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their own because it will be a huge pressure
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the
government
, and it is not the
government
's
responsibility
. If the
government
 should take
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
responsibility
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the
pollution
 of private
companies
 and the public, it will
be
Verb problem
put
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
huge pressure
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the
government
. The
government
 cannot focus on
his
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 own responsibilities if
he
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 has to monitor the
pollution
 rate of the general public and private organizations.
Moreover
, if the
government
 take
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
responsibility
, the general public and private
companies
 will never be conscious
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the
pollution
 rate. They will become reckless and pollute the environment without thinking
second
Correct article usage
a second
show examples
 time.
For instance
, in Bangladesh, in 2019, the
government
 took
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sole
responsibility
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 air
pollution
 caused by industries, and the
pollution
 rate became higher.
Then
 the
government
 changed the policy
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and declared that each company and individual clean up their own
pollution
.
Submitted by rahman_rehana on

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task achievement
The essay clearly states the writer's opinion, but it needs more development to provide a complete response. It could benefit from addressing potential counterarguments to strengthen the task achievement.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes a logical flow of ideas, but the introduction and conclusion could be more clearly defined to improve coherence and cohesion. Try to establish connection between ideas and use paragraphs effectively.
coherence cohesion
The main argument is clear, and the essay has a logical progression of ideas.
task achievement
The essay presents a specific example of government involvement in pollution cleanup in Bangladesh. This adds some depth to the response.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Polluter Pays Principle
  • corporate accountability
  • economic incentives
  • conscious consumption
  • waste management
  • environmental damage
  • green technologies
  • financial responsibility
  • sustainable practices
  • government funds
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