IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and development soft skill in more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion?

Preparing oneself to fit the ever-changing job market is important.
While
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 some people believe that formal higher education is essential for employment, others consider hands-on practice and honing soft skills to be more crucial. In
this
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 essay, I will examine both perspectives and explain why immersing in real experience is the ideal road to employment, compared to having a university certification.
Firstly
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, a university degree is still commonly used to determine the expertise and qualifications in career postings, assuming that they will have more ground knowledge in their field compared to other applicants from different majors.
For instance
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, supply chain worker qualifications include having a bachelor's degree in administration, industrial engineering, or a similar field.
Therefore
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, if a candidate does not match the initial qualifications like so, it will be harder for them to prove to the employer that they are capable of the occupation, though they may have other worthy selling points.
On the other hand
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, college will grant us theories, but real experience allows us to have a trial and error, which is much needed, as it is not something a person will learn in the classroom. Take a marketing agent,
for example
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, he may have learnt the principles to boost sales in university textbooks, yet understanding how to handle different attitudes of buyers is not something he got from outside of the classroom.
Thus
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, surrounding ourselves with true working conditions is ideal to achieve a job. In sum, practical skill developments outweigh the benefit of solely attaining an academic certification. Despite the importance of formal learning in higher education, understanding real-life lessons is needed to secure a spot in the workplace.
Therefore
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,
it is clear that
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 the idea of relying on the knowledge we gain in the syllabus will not suffice to start a career.

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structure
Plan the essay with four parts: intro, two body paragraphs, and a short conclusion. Each part should have a clear idea.
task response
Give equal weight to both sides and end with your view. Make this balance clear.
language
Use easier words. Shorter sentences help. Check small grammar errors.
examples
Give a real example from a job and set it in simple terms.
content
Clear opening that states what you will discuss.
coherence
Good attempt to talk about both views.
content
Some useful examples to support points.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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