People believe that they should be able to keep all the money they earn and should not pay tax to the state. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

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It is believed that
tax
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taken from
income
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is not necessary because
people
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deserve to keep all the money they earn.
While
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people
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may have more savings if they are not obligated to pay taxes, I stand with
them
Correct pronoun usage
those
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who disagree that
people
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should keep all of their salary because paying
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tax
Fix the agreement mistake
taxes
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regularly is a mandatory action as a resident in order to develop public services and remove social inequality.
Firstly
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, when
people
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keep all of their
income
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for themselves, they do not contribute to the development of their country.
Tax
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is one of the essential
source
Change to a plural noun
sources
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of the state's
income
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,
in
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apply
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which
usually
Add a missing verb
is usually
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allocated to build services for
public
Correct article usage
the public
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such
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as schools, parks, roads, and hospitals. If one country
do
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does
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not
charged
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charge
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its residents, they may not be able to construct a better public facility.
As a result
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,
an
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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accessible facilities for
public
Add an article
the public
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, which may enhance their life quality, can not be provided.
On the other hand
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, the value of
income
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taken by the state must be charged fairly. The higher the salary, the more amount of money should be charged.
Therefore
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, a state
possible
Correct your spelling
is able
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to create equality amongst its residents because the richer a person, the higher their contribution.
As
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For
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instance, social inequality problems may be avoided by the government. In conclusion,
whereas
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people
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deserves
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deserve
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all the money they get from their job, it is
also
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important for
people
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to contribute to society by paying taxes.
Therefore
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, better public facilities can be constructed to enhance
people
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's quality of life.
In addition
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,
tax
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must be taken fairly to endorse social equality
Submitted by averinasandra on

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Improvement
Your essay provides a clear response to the task, presenting a balanced view on the necessity of taxes. However, make sure to include specific examples to strengthen your argument and illustrate your points more effectively.
Improvement
Improve the fluency and accuracy of your writing by reviewing some minor grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement (e.g., "do not charged" should be "do not charge").
Improvement
Expanding your vocabulary and using more complex sentence structures will help to fully articulate your ideas. Use varied sentence forms and advanced vocabulary to make your essay more engaging.
Strength
Your essay has a clear logical structure, with a solid introduction and conclusion. This allows the reader to easily follow your argument.
Strength
You effectively explain the societal importance of tax and its role in public services and social equality, making a highly relevant point.
Strength
The conclusion provides a succinct summary of the main points you've discussed, reinforcing your overall stance.
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