Some people think that schools are too competitive and that this has a negative impact on children. Others believe the competitive environment encourages children to achieve. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.
There is a strong debate among people whether
competitive
Correct article usage
a competitive
environment
has a positive or negative effect in
Change preposition
on
chlidren
ability to comprehend in schools. In general, Correct your spelling
children
younger
generation tends to get more excited when it comes to Add an article
the younger
be
better than other friends at Change the verb form
being
school
. It is agreed that competitive
Correct article usage
a competitive
environment
helps juveniles to achieve success in the future. However
, this
essay will present why school
should keep the Fix the agreement mistake
schools
competation
between Correct your spelling
competition
childeen
and mention some examples about it.
On Correct your spelling
children
one
hand, teenagers seem to like being at the top of their classes and get rewarded by the Correct article usage
the one
school
councilar
more than adults at the university. When Correct your spelling
counsellor
councillor
the
Correct article usage
apply
childeen
Correct your spelling
children
expose
to pressure Wrong verb form
are exposed
by
their colleagues to have better results Change preposition
from
at
exams, usually they become Change preposition
in
intillegance
at that period. Correct your spelling
intelligent
For example
, study
showed that teenagers who had a tough Add an article
the study
a study
cometetion
at Correct your spelling
competition
schools
, tend to reach higher Fix the agreement mistake
school
grade
at university. Fix the agreement mistake
grades
Moreover
, one of the most valuable methods to enhance younger boys and girls to do
Unnecessary verb
apply
better
performance at Add an article
a better
school
is by compare
them with other classmates who got Change the verb form
comparing
a great results
. Correct the article-noun agreement
great results
a great result
Therefore
, competitive
Correct article usage
a competitive
environment
will always has
a positive impact on Change the verb form
have
childreen
life.
Correct your spelling
children
children's
On the other hand
, as a
Correct article usage
apply
humen
nature, some parents Correct your spelling
human
worried
that competition will cause a huge amount of Wrong verb form
worry
pressue
on their kids, Correct your spelling
pressure
without
knowing that, they Correct word choice
and without
limited
their Wrong verb form
limit
kids
ability to learn better. Change to a genitive case
kid's
kids'
thus
, parents should encourage their childreen
to reach Correct your spelling
children
exellence
work.
Correct your spelling
excellent
To sum up
, although
Correct article usage
a copetitive
copetitive
Correct your spelling
competitive
environment
may cause some pressure on younger
generation at Correct article usage
the younger
school
, they will get through these times and help them get smarter. It is predictabe
that Correct your spelling
predictable
school
will be more competitive in the future.Fix the agreement mistake
schools
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coherence cohesion
Work on organizing your ideas more clearly and logically. The essay should have a clear structure where each paragraph focuses on one main idea, and transitions help guide the reader through the text.
task achievement
Clarify your main points. Some sentences and ideas are not entirely clear, and more development can help communicate your position effectively. Ensure all arguments and examples support your opinion clearly and logically.
task achievement
You provided examples to support your points, such as mentioning studies about teenagers' performance in competitive environments. This strengthens your argument and demonstrates task achievement.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your essay and provides a strong base for the reader to understand the topic and your opinion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.