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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The chart below shows the expenditure of two countries on consumer goods in 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the expenditure of two countries on consumer goods in 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#expenditure #two #countries #consumer #goods #information #features #comparisons
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The above table chart reveals data on the average money expenditure in the
UK
Use synonyms
 and
France
Use synonyms
 on consumer goods in the year 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, the most significant feature is the numbers of money spent on cars received the highest score in both countries.
While
Linking Words
 the lowest percentage was related to perfume expenditure in both countries. It is noticeable that the number of cars shows dramatic growth from 400,000in
France
Use synonyms
 to 450,000 in the
UK
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the money spent on computers sharply decreased from approximately 380,000 in
France
Use synonyms
 to 350,000 in the
UK
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
,the
UK
Use synonyms
 spent about 400,000 on books
while
Linking Words
France
Use synonyms
 spent just 300,000.
In addition
Linking Words
, perfume expenditure had the weakest amount which is 150 in the
UK
Use synonyms
 and 200 in
France
Use synonyms
. 
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the number spent on camera shows
significant
Add an article
a significant
the significant
show examples
 difference between the two countries.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the camera score contributed to
be
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
 higher in the
UK
Use synonyms
 within 350
then
Linking Words
 started to decline gradually to 150 in
France
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by rahafalkhashti7 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words uk, france with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "numbers of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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