In some contries an increasing number of people are sufferung from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. it is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. to what extent do you agree or dissagree with opinion
Health
problems are now crucial issue
, Fix the agreement mistake
issues
resulted
from inappropriate eating Wrong verb form
resulting
behavior
. Many Change the spelling
behaviour
people
believe that government should be involved by rising
tax Correct your spelling
raising
of
junk Change preposition
on
food
, while
some believe that having some exercise and eating healthy food
are more sensible. In my point of views
, I agree with Fix the agreement mistake
view
Correct article usage
the later
later
view with the reasons discussed in the following paragraphs.
In the present, because of its convenience, Correct your spelling
latter
new
generation tends to eat fast Correct article usage
the new
food
more than healthy
one. Some Add an article
a healthy
the healthy
people
believe that government
should take action by increasing Correct article usage
the government
tax
Correct article usage
the tax
of
unhealthy Change preposition
on
food
, in the belief that people
will be healthier by downgrade
its Wrong verb form
downgrading
popular
.
It is Replace the word
popularity
undeniably
that some eating Change the word
undeniable
behavior
can lead to serious Change the spelling
behaviour
health
problems such
as diabetes or cardiovascular diseases. However
, mentioned
non-communicating diseases do not only depend on how they Correct article usage
the mentioned
consume
. Take diabetes as an example, Wrong verb form
are consumed
genetic
Replace the word
genetics
play
an important role in Correct subject-verb agreement
plays
this
disease
. People
having strong genetic disease
tend to have metabolic Fix the agreement mistake
diseases
disease
when they grow up, Fix the agreement mistake
diseases
although
they consume only health
products. In my opinion, as a medical student, only implied implement
from authorities cannot be achieved without encouragement. Replace the word
implementation
People
lacking self-awareness often chose
unhealthy foods because Wrong verb form
choose
it
stimulate dopamine and many chemicals in the brain leading to severe addiction. I extremely believe that Correct pronoun usage
they
rising
awareness about how to intake can solve Correct your spelling
raising
this
problem. For instance
, the schools might have some class
about the effects of diabetes Fix the agreement mistake
classes
such
as overweigh
, stroke or unhealed Correct your spelling
overweight
ulcer
that leads to imputation, in order Fix the agreement mistake
ulcers
in
create Change preposition
to
imagination
of how they will be if they regularly eat fast Add an article
the imagination
food
. Additionally
, encourage
encouraging Verb problem
apply
people
about how to keep fit with appropriate exercise could be one of the factors that can relieve diabetic disease
.
In conclusion, health
problems cannot be eliminated by that rather than implement
Wrong verb form
implemented
from
Change preposition
by
government
alone, but Correct article usage
the government
health
awareness and some exercises are more effective way
.Fix the agreement mistake
ways
Submitted by narnrs1 on
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task achievement
Try to clarify the main position or argument early in the introduction to ensure the reader understands your stance right away.
coherence cohesion
Strengthen the logical flow by using more linking words and clear topic sentences to lead the reader smoothly through your arguments.
task achievement
Aim to develop and support main points with specific examples more comprehensively.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction provides a clear context for the discussion and mentions different perspectives on the issue.
introduction conclusion present
The essay concludes effectively by summarizing the main points discussed and restating your perspective.
relevant specific examples
Utilizes a specific example related to diabetes, which enhances the relevance of your argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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