Families who send their children to private schools should not be required to pay taxes that support the state education system. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some contend that there should be no
education
tax requirements for those sending their
children
to private
schools
. I firmly disagree with
this
notion. It is argued that paying
taxes
that support state
education
, not only is unbeneficial but can
also
be a strain on
families
,
whom
Correct pronoun usage
whose
show examples
children
attend private
schools
. these
schools
usually demand high
registraition
Correct your spelling
registration
fees and extra
payements
Correct your spelling
payments
in order to give one access to different facilities like pools, game rooms or exclusive
education
.
As a result
, making
families
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
pay for other
children
's
education
along with
exorbitant payments
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
private
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
is suggested to be unfair.
Additionally
,
taxes
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
been defined as a way to collect money for the improvement of individuals lives.
By
Change preposition
According
show examples
according to
this
definition
peolpe
Correct your spelling
people
assert that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
funding state
education
that one is not using or benefiting from is unnecessary.
However
, dismissing affluent
families
from paying
taxes
not only would trigger the
discrepency
Correct your spelling
discrepancy
but
also
cause problems for governments.
Firstly
, Those who can afford to send their
children
to private
schools
are wealthy enough to pay for
taxes
and eliminating
this
target group would only double the burden on disadvantaged
families
, who are already struggling with their basic needs.
Consequently
, these
families
would withdraw their
children
from
schools
and encourage
to
Correct pronoun usage
them to
show examples
labor-based
Change the spelling
labour-based
show examples
jobs to be able to meet
the
Change the word
their
show examples
ends, ultimately depriving them
from
Change the preposition
of
show examples
a chance
of
Change preposition
at
show examples
higher
education
.
Moreover
, not all the citizens use the
aminities
Correct your spelling
amenities
for which they are paying. If governments allow parents to pay
taxes
based on which school their
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
are attending they have to invest a huge amount of money for validity checking.
In addition
,
this
decision would bring about conflicts among other groups who are paying
taxes
but not using all facilities within the community. In conclusion,
high
Correct article usage
the high
show examples
paying
Replace the word
pay
show examples
rates of a private school cannot be validated as a viable excuse to dismiss certain people from paying
taxes
that support the
education
system.
Submitted by ghazalmoosavi79 on

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task achievement
Make sure to include relevant examples to support your main arguments. This will help to illustrate your points more clearly.
coherence cohesion
Work on refining your logical structure, ensuring that each paragraph flows into the next for added clarity.
task achievement
The essay presents a balanced view, discussing both sides of the argument regarding education taxes.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are both present, clearly framing the essay and summarizing the key points discussed.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • tax exemption
  • public education
  • private schools
  • collective responsibility
  • societal welfare
  • equitable access
  • financial burden
  • social cohesion
  • tax credits
  • vouchers
  • subsidies
  • state-funded
  • socioeconomic disparities
  • public vs. private sector
  • quality of education
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